Counting My Blessings

He just melts my heart.

Throughout the day I keep thinking about things that I want to write down to describe how my life is right now and the feelings that I have. It might seem like a waste to spend the time that I have to myself blogging; however, I know that some of these feelings and realizations are very specific to this time as a new mother.

Yesterday was a very good day. I enjoyed my visiting teachers' company and one of them pointed out something that I found very helpful. She made a comment about how each child has their talents and strengths as well as their weaknesses. This is kind of a "duh" comment, but I helped me to look at myself and Saku in a different way. I think as a new mom is hard to not compare yourself and your baby to others because you want to make sure that you are doing things right. And it's hard to remember that most of the time there is no right and wrong when it comes to doing parenting.

Saku inherited 100% of Troy and my stubborness and he is not the most mellow baby around. Obviously nap times as well as sleeping at night can be a struggle at times and when he cries, he CRIES. However, more importantly he is a perfectly healthy boy who is already strong and interested in the world around him. He eats well and enjoys nursing, which is a blessing for both of us. He loves to be cuddled and has started smiling at us as well as making coing sounds here and there.

I need to remember that the fact that he doesn't just lay in his crib and go to sleep like some other babies do or just sit contently on my lap for an extended periods of time is not a failure on my or his part. I am so used to doing something and seeing the results immediately and I know parenting won't be that way. I just need to remember that the only thing that really matters is that I love him and he is able to feel my love and that I will teach him that he has a Heavenly Father who loves him.

When Saku falls asleep in the evening, I am relieved to know that I will have few hours to myself and to spend with Troy. However, I always have this weird feeling of missing him when he is sleeping. I know he will grow too fast and while I am looking forward to those exciting milestones and learning more about his personality, I already know that I will miss the sweet spirit that he has as a small baby.

Saku's First Date

Last night we went to our friends Chad and Janae's house for dinner, which meant that Saku had his first official encounter with the pretty blondie named Kaelyn. Kaelyn is about six weeks older than Saku. Saku weights more and has a bigger head than Kaelyn, but Kaelyn is longer. They both have a sweet widow's peak.

Saku was little embarassed the fact that mom drove him to his date, but he does think that his ride (AKA stroller) is pretty sweet. Kaelyn was asleep when we got there and Saku was drifting in and out of sleep for a little bit. Then he decided to show his manliness by roaring(OK, crying) for a while and finally Kaelyn woke up, too. They romantically gazed at various mobiles as they chilled on a play mat, ate dinner at separate "restaurants" and tried to end the date with some cuddling. Saku seemed little intimated by Kaelyn's glamour; maybe he'll be more ready for in sixteen years:).

Saku is feeling little apprehensive about Kaelyn's closeness, but he is trying to stay "cool".

Saku is pretty sure that he can't handle this "older woman" yet while Kaelyn poses for the camera. However, there was no wingman in sight to save him.

Saku is getting very upset and Kaelyn's calm attitude about the date is fading away, too.

Saku must have been dreaming of Kaelyn the following night since it was the best night of sleep we have gotten since June 17th:) He slept until 3 am and was up only for 30 minutes. This momma was even able to go for a run in the morning because she got some sleep:) And Troy was happy to have his wife back to normal..at least for a day:)

What To Do??

So I am trying to figure out what to do concerning Saku's daily naps and sleep at night. I bought a book called The Baby Whisperer since few people have recommended it to me. It's basic idea is The E.A.S.Y(eat, activity, sleep, you). So for a baby that is Saku's age, you'd feed him about every 3 hours, play for 30-45 minutes and then sleep 1.5 -2 hrs. While the baby sleeps, you get "YOU" time. The author gives an example schedule, but it is really more about a daily routine for the baby and watching the baby's cues than sticking to specific times.

For example, today we got home from church and I fed Saku and he was just tired even though he had just woken up from a nap, so we put him down for a nap only 20 minutes after he ate. He did sleep for 5.5 hours in a row last night, which is great for us. Of course, then he decided to not go to sleep for 2.5 hours. He wasn't even crying; he just wanted to be cuddled. You might wonder, why would she just stay up and cuddle him in the middle of the night. Well he would scream if we would put him down. Some people might tell me to just put him down and let him cry. However, I don't believe in letting him cry it out. Maybe when he is little older, but I want to make sure that he knows I'm there for him and if he cries, I will take care of him. HOWEVER, I don't think that moms who do let their babies cry themselves to sleep are doing anything wrong. So no judging; just a personal preference. Plus Saku is having some reflux and I think it's hurting him every now and then and since I can't help with the pain, I want to at least comfort him as much as possible.

Anyways, what is your way of getting your baby to a good, manageable daily routine and have them sleep at night? Also, I have to say that we have not figured out a way to swaddle him in a way that we keep him swaddled for a night. We tried all different size blankets, the miracle blanket (Thanks Lili) and swaddle blankets from Target and he just wiggles his way out of them or at least gets them loose enough that they aren't effective. I think I will order the Woombie tomorrow (http://www.thewoombie.com/) because I can't think of any other way to keep him swaddled, which equals keeping him asleep. One of my friends vouches for the Woombie so we will check it out.

My baby got some good chunk in his trunk:) He is 11 lbs and 4 ozs at 5 weeks and 2 days.

This is how Saku felt when we told him that Aunt Anna had to go back to Finland. He asked "who is going to hold me when mom wants to sleep an extra hour","who is going to sing and hold my hand in the backseat when we drive to places" and "who is going to hold me and bounce on the exercise ball to calm me down". We loved having Anna here. It was amazing to see how much she loved Saku. He is such a lucky child to have a wonderful extended family.

P.S Yes, my blog is one of those "mommy" blogs now.But that is my life right now, plus I want to make sure I remember all these little things about his life that I might otherwise forget.

Falling in Love Over and Over Again

I can't believe these pictures were taken three weeks ago. Saku doesn't have his chicken legs anymore and he has nice chubby cheeks now. I just can't get over how much I love him. It makes me think of my own mom and how she must have felt when she knew that she was going pass away soon and she would have to be away from us for a while. I know Heavenly Father has a plan for us and He knows what is best for us; however, I don't think I can ever understand how it is better for us to be without her. I guess that is where faith comes in.

Thank you Saku for filling our lives with so much love and happiness.

p.s Saku, If you decide to start sleeping through the night, I won't object. But even if you don't, I will hold you and tell you over and over again that I love you.

Never Again

OK, so I might be little overly dramatic when I say "Never Again" to a summer baby in Tucson. However, I hope that our next baby will be born during the cooler months. There are several reasons why I feel this way.

1. Way too hot to do anything outside since I don't want Saku to get overheated or sunburned.

2. He gets so sweaty in his car seat and our Scion's A/C doesn't reach him that well in the backseat.

3. Way harder for me to go out and exercise when the temperature outside is somewhat reasonable only before 6 am and after 10 pm.

4. We have to keep the temperature lower in the house to make sure he doesn't get too hot; yet, I worry about our fans creating too many drafts, which might get him cold. Yes, I worry and worry and worry!

5. Sweating and breastfeeding don't go well together in my book. NOthing like smell of milk and sweat. Also breastfeeding in public under the hooter hider makes both Saku and I cook to death. I love breastfeeding but I HATE breastfeeding in public places(AKA when I have to cover myself).

6. Saku feels like he is 100 degrees all the time, which means that I'm constantly checking his temperature just to be sure he doesn't have fever. Nope, he is just a little heater.

Maybe it would a different story with a second baby when I wouldn't be so worried about everything, but I still would like to enjoy the outdoors with my baby. I have my awesome stroller and it doesn't get much use(except when we go to the mall) because it's too hot to walk outside right now.

On Sunday we decided to escape the heat and drove up to Mt. Lemmon for a picnic. It was nice to be in a slightly cooler weather and do something different.

We are supposedly the same height but I sure look shorter(maybe it's because I'm wider:))

Three of my favorite people in the world!!

I was finally able to capture Saku's smile as he falls asleep.

Officially a Stay-At-Home Mom

Last Friday I took the NCLEX, which is a licensure test for nursing, and I passed. This means that I am officially a registered nurse AND I don't have to study anymore. I can concentrate on Saku 100%. Prior to taking the test, I was worried that I wasn't studying enough and I would skip naps to study or I would study while holding Saku and then I felt bad about not interacting with him. So it's kind of ironic to say that now that I have passed my boards and become an RN, I can concentrate on being a mom:) But I love it!

I have to give a shoutout to Troy and my dad for helping me to be as relaxed and well-rested prior to the test. I had pumped enough for Troy to do few of the feedings so I only had to get up once during the night to feed our little guy. Troy also kept Saku in the living room after the 2 am feeding, so I wouldn't wake up to any of the noises that he makes. Dad took care of Saku in the morning so Troy could so stuff around the house.

I was away from home for three hours and I missed my sweet little boy so much. I was so excited to come home and just hold him. For a while Troy and I were thinking that I would go to work in August so I could get some experience as a nurse ASAP and then be home with our kids. I'm so happy that we decided to wait because I cannot imagine leaving Saku right now. He is still so tiny and I feel like I need to be home with him. Though I'm sure that it doesn't get any easier to leave him as he grows and starts to develop his own personality and skills.

Saku is constantly stuffed up. He's not sick, but his nose is so stuffy. I wonder if it's all the fans that we have on to keep the air cool. I keep putting saline drops into his nose and we have a humidifier in the bedroom, but it hasn't helped too much. Any advice that the experienced moms can share with me? I know he is OK, but I still hate to listen to his "stuffy" breathing and snoring.

Sweet onesie from my dear friend Neha, with the chemical structure of oxytocin. Yes, we are nerds.

I think he looks like a puppy dog here:)

Saku Aleksanteri Grossarth

Sunday was a special day as we finally had our sweet boy's baby blessing. My whole family(minus Mio) and Troy's family (minus Kyle, Jen and Makayla) came to share this important day with us. I was worried that there would be some serious crying during the blessing, but he was compeletely content and just stared straight at Troy during the blessing. It was a beautiful blessing and we are excited to finally call him by his name. We will call him Saku since Aleksanteri might be too much for most people to pronounce:) It has been little difficult to transition from Rölli to Saku since we have been calling him Rölli since we found out that we were having a boy.

Saku was little tired after all the partying.

Aunt Aino and Aunt Anna

Happy Ukki(grandpa in Finnish) and slightly distressed Saku

Grandma Barb made the beautiful blessing romper for Saku.

Our little family

So much love

So Blessed

Troy and I are blessed with wonderful families who show their love and support to us constantly.

Troy's mom and a family friend came to Tucson few weeks ago and cooked meals for a whole week so we could just heat them up each day. It made life so much easier as we were still adjusting to a life with a newborn. Barb and Vern were also our little one's first visitors and he happily slept in his grandma's arms for hours that day.

My dad flew in last Friday and has helped this sleep-deprived mom so much. He has been in charge of rocking Rölli to sleep or just hanging out with him after the 5 am feedings so I could sleep few extra hours. Also the pair of extra hands has been invaluable when I wanted to take a shower or study for few minutes when our little man wanted to be held. I don't know how I will go back to having to do it all on my own:) Dad has also cleaned our whole house, cleaned our garage and patio plus helped us to get ready for the baby blessing. We are so blessed to have him here with us. I know Rölli wont remember his grandpa singing him to sleep or talking to him, but I cherish the image of my dad and my son interacting together.

I am so blessed to have a wonderful and supportive husband who adores our son. I decided to pump every now and then so Troy could do be part of some of feedings and bond with Rölli little more. Troy has the ability to sleep through Rölli's crying, but once I wake him up, he is more than willing to change any diapers or pace the halls if needed.

We are blessed with amazing friends who have offered meals and their time to help us after Rölli's birth. Here is a picture of Rölli's first friend James. James was born just five days after Rölli. Christina had actually offered to bring us a meal that day and then we received an email saying that she was in labor. I had told Christina that she better not have her baby before me since her due date was two and half weeks later than mine. Hopefully these boys can have some play dates together when they get little older. It is obvious that our boy likes to eat:)

Two Full Weeks

We had our two week appointment this Monday and our little guy had gained 9 ounces in five days.  He inherited Troy and my talent for eating. He is now 8 lbs and 2 ozs, 21 inches and his head is still 37 cm. He is in the 50th percentile for everything. He eats every 2-3 hours for 20-30 minutes. It's nice that he is getting more efficient with the feedings, because it used to take close to 45 minutes for him to eat. It's not that I don't enjoy breastfeeding but 45 minute feeding at night was little long. The only complaint I have about breastfeeding is my neck and shoulder muscles are so tight; I must have bad posture when I feed him. I have been able to speak Finnish to him about 80 % of the time. It's more difficult for me to feel "normal" about speaking Finnish to him when I'm around other people. 

Last two nights have been magical in our home. Our little boy slept four hours in a row, woke up to eat and went right back to sleep and slept another three hours. I kept waking up because I am so used to our every two hour wake-up calls and couldn't believe that he was still sleeping. I even woke Troy up to let him know that our little man was doing so well. I'm not sure how much Troy appreciated my 2 am report. Obviously it's only been two nights, but I think the fact that we have swaddled him really tightly has helped him sleep more soundly. 

On Wednesday a photographer came over to take some baby pictures. She was with us for two hours and we had a crying baby for an hour and 45 minutes. He finally fell asleep about 5 minutes before she had to go. It was classic. I was getting so stressed out because he wouldn't calm down and when he would calm down, we would try to have him in some pose or just unwrapped and he would get so mad. We've only seen few of the pictures, but so far we are loving them. 

My recovery has been pretty good. I can't wait to get back to running, but I don't think my body is ready for that yet. We have started walking around the neighborhood park in the mornings. I've lost about 22 pounds, but I know my body will never again be the same. I have to lose another 6 inches of my waist to be back to my pre-pregnancy measurements. It's amazing how much pregnancy changes your body. 

We are about to go and pick up my dad from the airport! It will be so nice to have my family around for the next three weeks. I just feel sorry for them that they will have to endure July's heat.