Sunshine in My Soul

Saturday morning at 7:45 am, I headed out for my 9 mile run. I had my new guilty pleasure podcasts on my iphone, my Garmin was around my wrist, my much loved running hat was on and I greeted the sunny, yet crispy air with so much happiness. 

We were visiting Troy's parents for a night so I was running on flat surface streets. After running around our new house which has hills all around it and is in higher elevation, the flatness of my route felt great. 

I laughed out loud as I listened to the podcast. I checked my route multiple times. I went the wrong way once. I greeted fellow runners and walkers with a cheerful "good morning"-hopefully it wasn't too cheerful that would make people wonder if I was taking some sort of happy pills. And I ran, and I ran for a while because running 9 miles takes some time.  

My seventh mile was at the pace of 8:31 and the last two miles of the run were around 8:15. My poor garmin died after the seventh mile so I don't have the exact numbers for the last two miles.

I was in heaven. I have been working hard for the last three weeks and Saturday's run was a proof that I am getting stronger and more fit. I know I can be fast. I know I run far. 

And the best part is that Troy always knows these things before I do. When I got back to the house, I said something along the lines of "can you believe how fast I run that" and "I feel great" and he was like "yeah I knew it would be easy run for you".

Well I wouldn't say that it was easy because I did have to work to keep going for those 9 miles, but I love that he totally thinks that I can do great things. 

There is a slight chance that I am slightly obsessed with running right now.

Eerika is ONE! I can't believe it and yet I totally can. She is not a baby anymore and I am loving it.

Words that describe Eerika: independent, silly, stubborn, beautiful and fast. 

She has the most beautiful eyes. Six teeth, good amount of hair, quick little hands that like to grab onto things and scratch you. 

She loves

her tutti

marshmallows

aiti, isi and Saku

eating rocks

isi coming home from work

running around naked and running away

balls

She could live without

diaper changes

stranges wanting to hold her

aiti trying to put bows and ribbons in her hair

Recent developments

No more nursing. We are starting to introduce whole milk.

She has discovered books. This happened later than with Saku (most likely a second child case of not spending hours reading to her), but now she loves to bring them to us, sit down on our lap and get up after 5 seconds to get another one. I find it so darling.

Enjoying a book about animals

She and Saku are starting some major battles over toys. Saku ends up crying more than she does. She is a tough one.

She can point to her belly button and nose

She knows how to put her shoes away after we come inside. This totally blows me away. She will walk from our kitchen area to the laundry room and put her shoes on the shoe shelf.

She can sign "more" "please" (Eerika version), "milk", "all done" and "thank you" "More" is the only sign that she does spontaneously, the others need little encouragement.

When Eerika takes her naps, Saku says "I don't want her to sleep. I want to play with her". Of course, when she is awake, Saku tells her to not touch his toys or follow her, but at least her absence is noted by him. 

She loves dragging things around the house-there is clutter everywhere!

Eerika's first trip in the big girl car seat

Things that haven't changed much

She still is not a great sleeper but I learned to not have that define her. It has helped a ton.

I love her a ton!

Happy Birthday!

January 28, 2011

January 27, 2012

What a great year we have had with this girl. 

I love you, sweet girl!

Happy Birthday/Happy Big Brother Day

We had a Happy Birthday and Happy Big Brother Day. The birthday celebration was planned and the morning of the special day I came up with the Big Brother part. We just kept talking about Saku is a big brother to Eerika and it should be celebrated too.

Saku still hasn't had a birthday party so I kept Eerika's first birthday a low key, but a fun celebration. In the morning, when birthday girl woke up, we went to her room with her presents (one from us, two from grandma and one from Anna and Aino) and sang "Paljon Onnea Vaan" and Saku graciously helped Eerika open her presents,

Chocolate pancakes were the breakfast food, but Eerika opted for banana oatmeal. After her morning nap, we headed to the zoo with Heather and the kids and the birthday lunch took place at Chick-fil-A. Eerika especially enjoyed dipping her fingers into the Chick-fil-A sauce and dumping fries on the floor.

Eerika napped in the car and at home while Saku and I made a cake (from a cake mix) and then we headed to a new friend's house for some games (for me) and outdoor fun for the kids. Saku came home with a big bruise on the forehead and Eerika consumed about half a bag of marshmallows. But Saku did say that he had "big fun".

A quick dinner of spaghetti was consumed and a slice of cake was devoured after Saku blew out his candle and I took care of Eerika's. 

Both kids were asleep by 7:30 pm. It is not an easy job to celebrate your first birthday and first big brother day. 

I love my Eerika and I am glad she has a brother like Saku. I am not sure if Saku will teach Eerika how to toughen up and survive or if Eerika will teach Saku that, either way, these kids are a huge blessing to each other and to us. 

Out of My Comfort Zone

I have things that I am good at. If you ask me to do those things, I will be happy to do them. I will eat the cookies that you've baked, I will listen to your stories, I will go for a long run with you, I will read a book really quickly, I will read chapters and chapters worth of academic material and actually enjoy it. I will ignore your messy house because I know there are more important things in life than immaculate home.

And then there are things that are out of my comfort zone. Entertaining a large group of people makes me little jittery. Speaking in front of people makes me nervous. I always check twice whether I really need to call a doctor at night (while i'm at work) because I don't want to make them mad. I hate confrontation and debating.

As we moved into our new ward, I knew we would get a new calling (volunteer assignment that helps the congregation function smoothly). The list of possibilities is quite vast. It could be teaching the kids, maybe teaching the adults for sunday school. Maybe I would get to be the cannery specialist or ward bulletin coordinator. Many callings are in my comfort zone, and some are not.

As the bishopric member started to tell me that "the Lord wants you to serve as a young women's (Ok Im familiar with this) Camp Director" (WHAT?????).

I went to girl's camp each year. That is six years of camp. I enjoyed it on most years. One year I was a bratty teenagers who was too into boys to enjoy something awesome such as girls' camp. I think it is great. Do I feel like I fit the mold of a girls' camp director? No way! I am terrified. We have tons of girls in our ward. I feel so much responsibility.

Do I feel like this was completely inspired? Yes I do. Because it is so out of my comfort zone. If you look at my "resume", I don't think there are many things that would "qualify" for me for this "job". But it is what I am supposed to be doing this year. I will be learning so much. I think it will be hard for me. I think I will learn to love these girls. I know it will strengthen my testimony. I think it will help be build some amazing relationships in our new ward. Will I be praying a lot for inspiration? Yes, I will be.

When "Thank you" Isn't enough

Dad left on Wednesday morning. That night Saku said "I miss ukki", "I miss ukki a lot", "I want him here right now". And earlier he had asked me "where are ukki's blue shoes?".

Saku isn't the only one who misses him. Dad came to visit us for the sole purpose of helping us out with the move and getting the new house ready. I want to make a list of things that he did for us because it felt incredible and if I ever feel like "I wish someone would come and take care of me", I can look at this list and know that I have an awesome dad who did a lot of things for me.

*Steam mopped all of our tile floor (which means all of downstairs except the master bedroom)
* spent two days painting our Tres Pueblos house's walls so it would look great for the renters
*cleaned all of my windows (something I wouldnt have even thought of doing)
*cleaned our Traverse (Troy's response "can i give him a hug and a kiss?")
*spent an afternoon picking weeds from our backyard with us
*painted the dark blue stripes in Saku's new room
*spent two mornings cleaning the Tres Pueblos house (we did work with him on this one)
*watched the kids so I was able to go on a run without a stroller
*watched the kids so Troy and I could enjoy a date night (Saku and Ukki had a movie night with popcorn and Thomas the Train movie)
*Took us out to lunch and dinner (which was great since we are trying to be frugal and not eating out for a while)
*got up with Eerika at night and in the morning so I could sleep (YES, this was amazing. I would sleep in until 7 and find Eerika and dad hanging out in her room. She didn't even miss me)
*went for a run with me on multiple occassions, which was so fun since I am usually running by myself (with the kids)

And then we just enjoyed hanging out with him and spending time with him. I hope that when our kids are grown and have kids of their own and I will be a grandma (gasp!), I will be as good at taking care of our kids and grandkids as my dad is at taking care of us.

Sadly enough, I didn't get any pictures of dad and I together, but the pictures of the kids with him are cuter anyways.








We miss you, Ukki! And love you!

Beauty

As the kids decided to climb on their play ground (my beautiful chair), I realized what a great lighting that area has since it is right next to the window. So we did a little photo shoot. As I snapped a picture of Eerika, i thought "with little photoshop, this would be amazing" and then I realized that I didn't want to do that. This will be controversial statement and I do not mean to offend anyone when I say this, but I sometimes get tired of looking at pictures of kids that are so photoshopped. I understand if you want to enhance the lighting or maybe there was a monstrous booger on the cheek that you wanted to delete. But do you ever look at pictures of kids that you know and while the picture looks great, it is so obvious that is photoshopped?

I would love to edit many pictures of myself, but is that real? I know I could use some help many times:) However, when it comes to my kids, I think they are just beautiful as they are.











How do you feel about photoshopping?


Please do not get offended by this post. I do not mean it to come across as judgmental. I have no photoshop skills and no software (except iPhoto). Maybe if I had a taste of it, I would want to do it.

This has been posted everywhere but in case you haven't seen it, it's funny, eye opening and reassuring for those of us who look like mere mortals:)

What a Good Running Buddy

Saku joined me on a run yesterday. Dad stayed home with Eerika so I just took the single jogger with me. We logged in four miles and this is how Saku spent most of the time. It must have been my maddening speed that lulled him into a deep sleep. Since naps are more of an exception than a norm here (for Saku), I was happy to see my little man asleep.

1000 Miles

I will run 1000 miles in 2012. I am excited, nervous and determined to reach this goal. Why such a big goal? Because I know I can do it and I know it will be a challenge. I want to make my body work hard and enjoy my body before it is time for another pregnancy and baby (no plans at this time, thank you). I want to have something that is my own. It is not related to be role as a mother. It is not related to my role as a homemaker. It is not related to my role as a wife. It is not service for anyone else. It is purely and selfishly my thing. I am the only one who benefits from it and I am the only who pays the price if I am slacking (since I will have to do more mileage the following day/week). Though I dont think Troy minds the results of the training either...

This week I enjoyed having dad as my running companion. We ran six days. Some days were easier than others. Wednesday was just a run to the park followed by playing and then running home. Saturday's a trail run of 7 miles. Our weekly total ended up being approximately 26 miles. My body is feelings this. I pushed the double jogger on four days, a single stroller on one day and no stroller on Saturday. There are so many more hills here that my body is still adjusting to it and we are at a slightly higher elevation as well.

What is amazing is that dad ran with me each time. Because of the winter in FInland, he hasn't been running for months and he was just able to keep up with me. Pretty impressive. I'm not saying that I am that fast but it is not easy to run 25 miles a week after no running.






We have enjoyed the desert scenery. I can't believe I am saying that but I find it peaceful and (again) find myself so happy with our decision to move here. Dad did get attacked by a jumping cholla and I stepped on something that poked a thorn through my shoe.





Today was a much needed rest day. I napped. I ate some chocolate. It was blissful and my body said "thank you". Especially for the chocolates.

Favorite Spot

The kids love our new house. The stairs, the open areas, the multiple doors that they can open and close. They have found their favorite spot very quickly. It is a chair in our guest bedroom that is right by the window. Without a fail, the kids always run over there and throw down the cushions, climb over there and laugh and then cry (as playing gets rough) and then laugh more. And they love it when I find them there. Maybe the whole throwing down the cushions gives them the feeling of "we are up to no good" and when I find them there, they get a kick out of it.

Loving Ukki

There is something truly special about the way our kids and my dad interact. Our kids are social kids but they are definitely attached to us. Often when other people reach out for them or want to hold them, the kids refuse. While I feel like it is normal, I wish more people could see how awesome and fun and loving my kids are. However, the moment my dad came to visit Saku has played with him, given him hugs and spent memorable and special moments with him. Even Eerika lets ukki hold him which is pretty much a miracle. Troy made a comment that felt very inspired as he said "I think it is Heavenly Father's way of showing how much your mom would have loved our kids". It is true. My mom would have loved and spoiled our kids so much. I am grateful that my dad is able to come and spend time with us and have a relationship with our kids.

And Ukki is pretty much hilarious. As Saku and ukki were swinging, Saku was laughing and kept saying "crazy ukki" as ukki was making the swing go from side to side and back and forth.

And it is obviously a whole lot easier for me as ukki reads to Saku or gets Eerika out of the crib and I get a little break. And spending time and helping out with the kids is only a small part of all he has done while he has been here. But all of that deserves another post.

Bravery

In order to be a parent, you need to brave. There are many things that make you scared or nervous when it comes to parenting.

It starts with the labor and delivery of the baby. I love the process of giving birth. But it makes me nervous. How much is it going to hurt? How long will it take? How does a baby come out of something so small?!! But you do it and it changes your life.

Then you have the baby and you are scared out of your mind that something bad will happen to your precious baby. You are worried about leaving the house because you don't want your baby to freak out while you are out and about and maybe you can't console the baby. You are worried that you will never feel normal after months of sleep deprivation. You will worry that your body will always look a bunch of jello was attached to your abdomen. But somehow you survive those newborn months.

Then you child becomes a toddler. You worry that you will be too harsh on your child. Or maybe you aren't firm enough. You worry when to take away the bottle/pacifier/blanket. You worry that people will think that you aren't a capable parent after your kid screams in a public place. You wonder when to potty train and what method to use. I am still in this stage but I know that eventually we will find a solution to these earth shattering issues or we won't and our kids will grow up and be OK.

One day, I will worry about grades, their friends, driving,boyfriends/girlfriends, broken hearts, drinking and drugs, college, and the list goes on, and I will probably wish that my biggest concern was little sleep deprivation.

However, the amazing thing about children is that they surprise you with their ability to do things.

Today we had a "are we brave enough" moment as we got dressed for church and debated whether we should have Saku go to church with a diaper or without one. We didn't want to confuse him and put on a diaper since he hasn't worn one for days, but did I want to have a "Cameron stepped on my poop" moment in our new ward. No, I didn't. However, we put on our brave parent faces and Saku went to church without a diaper. And he did amazingly well. No accidents at all. ALL DAY.

So next time, I wonder if Saku or Eerika can do something challenging, I will be brave so I can help them to be brave.

So I won't Forget

After my dad arrived on Thursday, he made a comment on how much Saku talks. Yes, he does talk a ton. I wanted to write down few of the funny phrases that we have heard lately.

We were at a story time and reading a book about animals moving. The story time lady started reading a page about animals crawling and she asked "who crawls?". Saku answered "Eerika crawls". The story time lady looked little puzzled until I clarified that Saku has just informed her that his little sister crawls. (This happened 3 months ago)

Saku is a sleep talker. He must have inherited that skill from me. This morning, he sort of yells out "I want more books". Another night "I want to take a shower".

He likes to negotiate. He usually shows me two fingers and tells me "five more minutes". He also has picked up the phrase "in a second" so he has started to tell me that he is going to do something "in a second".

If we go away (as in he was left with someone), he tells us "you were too far away. I couldn't reach you." or "I lost you".

Cameron came to play with us and the boys were in the backyard. Saku has been potty training because he doesn't really want a diaper anymore. So we let him be without one and if we are outside, he just wears just pants. So the boys are playing and suddenly we hear "äiti, Cameron stepped on my poop". Alia and I looked at each other and ask "did he say poop" and sure enough, he had pooped, it fell out of his pant leg and landed on the patio and Cameron stepped on it. AWESOME! (We had struggled about pooping in the potty, but since the "stepping on the poop" incident, we have had successful poops in the potty).

After I had showered one day, I was about to get dressed and Saku was next to me and he looks at me with great concentration and then says "äiti, your tissi (boob) looks good". He was so serious. Troy and I about died laughing.

Best of Friends

So Isi is the king of the house in Saku's opinion. During Troy's Christmas vacation, Saku wanted isi and only isi. I wasn't good enough for him when he was sad or it was time to go to bed. Why would I be, I only gave birth to him? OK, I really am not bitter at all about it. There was a time when he only wanted me and I told Troy that there would be a time when he would be Saku's hero. Well the time has come. Saku loves loves loves his isi. However, he is considerate enough that he doesn't let isi be his only best friend.

This is a debate that Saku and I had yesterday

Saku: "you are my best friend"
Me: "You are my best friend"
Saku: "No, you are my best friend"
And we did that five more times.

Saku spontaneously runs to Eerika and exclaims "Eerika, you are my best friend" and gives her a hug.

Tonight after Ukki arrived, they were both very silly and hyper from the excitement and ran (Saku) and walked fast (Eerika) around the house while singing and squealing. It was little loud, but it sure made me happy to have them play together.

This is why having kids so close in age is so rewarding and worth it, even when I go to bed at 10 pm every night because I am way too tired to stay up any later.

Simplify

Simplify is my theme for this year.

I want to concentrate on the important things.

I don't want just to do good things; I want to make time for the best things.

As part of the moving process, I decided to clean out my closet and got rid of half of the clothes I owned. I only kept things I really liked. From now on, I will buy fewer clothes that are better quality and can be worn in many ways. I will try to be more classy.

Yesterday I decided to delete blogs from my google reader. Since I "found" the world of blogs, I followed blogs of friends and strangers that entertained me and kept me informed on people's lives. I want to focus more on my own life and family. I deleted about 20 blogs. It feels good.

I am trying to stay home more. Last year, we were busy with multiple play dates a week. Some weeks, we were "on the go" every day. It was good and I feel very blessed to have many great friends. However, I want to concentrate more on the simplicity of spending time with my kids and showing Eerika and Saku that they can be each other's friends.

As I decorate and organize our new home, I am trying to keep things uncluttered. It is a complete mess right now and it will be a work in process for a while. I won't have the money to buy everything that I want right now, but I am happy with the simple fact that I am living in a house that I love and in a neighborhood that makes me smile each time I go outside.

I will read more books and watch less TV. This will not be that hard since I cant seem to find anything that really captures my attention. I notice that reading a good book leaves me always refreshed while the idea of watching TV sounds good, but never makes me feel great.

I will only focus on only few things this year. I want to run, feel close to the Spirit and provide a happy atmosphere for my family.

I will make time for people and relationships rather than things.

I even thought of deleting my facebook account but I don't think I can do it. Baby steps, right?

Running Around

After working last night and the morning shower, I wore a long sleeve t-shirt and yoga pants all day long. No make up and barely brushed my hair. But I did brush my teeth. I honestly love days like this (except for the fact that I slept only 2 hrs in the last 24 hrs). Since I only work twice a month, I forget how much it hurts my body to be so tired after a night shift.

Last night's shift officially kicked my butt. I have not worked that hard for so long. Nothing like an overdose,suspected heart attack, gunshot wounds and a young guy with cancer to give you perspective and keep you on your toes through the shift.

In the evening, Heather came over and we ran 3 miles around the neighborhood. We attacked some hills and enjoyed some girl time. There is no way I would have run by myself so it was great to have Heather join me. I really love running. And I do not love the fact that we could hear Eerka's crying three houses away from ours as we left and she missed me. According to Troy, she stood by the front door for 15 minutes and cried for me. So sad for the little girl. I hope it is just a phase.

First Day of the Year

I am so excited! This is the perfect year and opportunity for new resolutions. 

• We moved into our new house this week in Sycamore Canyon in Corona de Tucson (Vail).
• Eevi will now have more hills and running trails than she could have dreamed of. 
• Today was the first time in our new ward. 
• I will complete my first year at Rincon Research Corp. after five great years at Raytheon.
• Eerika will turn one year old.
• Saku will soon graduate to being a "big boy," we hope.

I have never really been one to set new year resolutions, but with all of the major changes that are happening to our family, it is hard to not get the feeling that our life is starting from a new slate. It is actually quite refreshing.

Saku and Eerika starting the new year just right... getting breakfast.