Goodbye 7W

June 20th was my last shift at 7W. My "last day" came sooner than I had previously thought, but it felt like a good decision so I put in my notice in the beginning of June. I have felt so blessed to be able to work per diem for the past three and half years after Eerika's birth. Yet few months ago, I got a strong impression that it might be a time for me to be home full time. Saku is starting school, our little man is coming in few months and life is just a bit more hectic. Yes I only worked once or twice a month, but I felt like I just needed to focus on our family. Troy supported me either way but once I felt that I should quit, he really felt like it was the right decision for now.

For four and half years, I would walk into UMC lobby and take the elevator up to the 7th floor. Some nights I was nervous. Some nights I was scared (4.5 years ago). Some nights I was exhausted before the shift even started. Some nights I was excited. Some nights I was happy to make some extra money. 

Twelve hours later, or really closer to 13 hours later when you count lunch break and the extra time that it would get everything done, I would leave 7W. I would drive home. My eyes would often water for being so tired. I would get home and be greeted with happy smiles and tell Troy how much I loved my job. OK I don't think I told that to him for the first 6 months because I was so stressed out with the job. But for the past three years or so, I have really loved working at 7W. 

 I took care of some nice patients. Some very sick patients, dying patients, difficult patients. I took care of patients whose names I wont remember and I took care of some patients whose face I would never forget. I took care of patients who seemed to really like me and I took care of patients who probably preferred someone else. 

Many times the charge would tell me that I was given a patient who needed extra TLC and it made me feel good that they regarded me as a nurse who could "kiss some butt" to make the patient feel happy. I am not a nurse who enjoys intense action. I don't mind working hard, but I don't need the adrenaline rush that comes from a situation where patients are really sick.  I like to think that I was able to be the nurse who made them feel a bit safer, a bit more cared for. 

Each time I walked into the unit I had two hopes: I didn't want to floated to another unit AND I hoped that I wouldn't have a ENT patient with a demanding trach. Our unit transitioned into an ENT unit, among our other specialities,  while I was on maternity leave with Eerika and I never felt 100% confident with trachs. 

I worked with amazing people. My co-workers never showed annoyance when I asked about our new charting, where to find certain forms or other more "paper work" issues that change around the hospital. They supported me in many ways. They asked about Saku and Eerika. They showed excitement when I came to work. I am very grateful for them. 

I wondered if I would feel sad on my last shift. I didn't. It felt weird to know that I wasn't coming back. However, the night had gone smoothly and I felt like it was a great way to end this period of my life. I don't know how long I will stay home. I don't think I will miss working per se, but I think I will miss the satisfaction of being "Eevi the nurse" and solving problems, communicating professionally and knowing that at times my patients' well being was a bit better because of my care. And I will miss those pay checks. Saku said that I could be a cook and he would pay me a dollar for it...

Little Man

Today was our big ultrasound. When we had one of our "reassurance" ultrasounds at 13 plus weeks, Dr. Farias predicted that we were having a boy. She said that we shouldn't be painting any rooms, but she would put her money on a boy. So ever since, the baby has been a boy in my head. And today we got the confirmation that we really are having a boy.

Obviously I am very aware that Heavenly Father knows what is best for our family, but also I feel like another boy will be a great thing. Saku can have the responsibility of being a big boy example to his brother and Eerika is such a fire cracker that she can handle anything. 

The gender was announced right in the beginning, and then we spent our time marveling at the tiny bones, the healthy brain and beating heart. This little man was very much into having his toes over his head.

We had the kids with us, which made the experience fun. Dr. Farias was very patient about answering Saku's questions about the ultrasound machine and what was showing on the screen. Troy was able to point out different body parts to the kids. 

The baby measured about six days larger than what my due date's baby size is, but since due date is such an abstract concept anyways, I will just stick with what we tell the kids "that the baby will come sometime after we go trick or treating". 

Another testament of Dr. Farias is the fact that she gave us 3D pictures of the baby's face.  I just love the fact that she goes beyond the basic care to provide us with a special experience with the pregnancy. The baby's estimated weight was over a pound.  I don't remember getting a weight estimate before. I guess I am getting old and the technology is getting better with each pregnancy:)

I know it is still 18 weeks away, but I think I will get those little boy clothes out this weekend and get excited about the fact that I get to dress another little boy in those much loved onesies that Saku wore five years ago. 

Saku felt the baby kick last night. It is whole another experience to have the kids understand and experience this pregnancy. Today Saku prayed that "the baby would be safe until he is ready to come out of äiti's belly".  

Saku at 5 years old

Our Saku Paku turned five years old yesterday. He had a countdown for his birthday and we were all very excited for it. 

His birthday started with the traditional breakfast in bed. Saku's chosen breakfast menu was greek yogurt muesli, scrambled eggs and apple juice. He was dead asleep when we went to his room about 7 am and it took him a bit to wake up enough to get excited.  Eerika and I had wrapped his presents and Eerika actually wrapped one of them all by herself. Saku was such a gracious gift received. He got three sets of legos, two pairs of scissors and angry birds alarm clock. He loved each one and showed so much excitement. When I made a comment to Troy about his gracious and grateful behavior, he said "well it is easy to be grateful when you get what you want." Ditto.

Troy stayed home in the morning and built legos with Saku for the an hour or so. His breakfast was mostly untouched as building took priority. He was also very nice to let Eerika build with his Star Wars set and Eerika did an impressive job of building and staying focus.

We went for a swim and came home for a lunch of otter pops and peanut butter sandwiches and nutella peanut butter sandwiches.

After lunch was the surprise movie outing to see The Lego Movie. Troy and the kids had seen it before, but I hadn't so when it was showing on the $1.50 day, I figured it would fit in with our lego themed birthday. Grandma and Grandpa also came, which was awesome and unusual as Grandpa is NOT a fan of movies. As in, he goes once every 5 years...

The day continued with swimming lessons. Grandma and Grandpa came along. This really meant a lot to me to have them part of our routine lives and see Saku and Eerika learning new skills. Grandma had made awesome swimming robes for both of the kids. They look professional now!
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Saku's childhood is a quite bit different than mine and Troy's. I think that is an universal fact with this generation. We went to Texas Roadhouse for dinner. Saku likes the fact that you can throw the peanut shells on the floor. Our only complaint was the fact that we waited for our food for quite a long time, BUT the kids were patient and there were no melt downs.

The birthday boy got to sit on the saddle and got the birthday shot out. He didn't even get embarrassed or flustered with the noise and attention. He is growing up. Saku had a bite or two of his ice cream courtesy of the restaurant but really he just wanted to go home at that point.

Eerika got to enjoy the saddle for a bit too.

It was quite the day for Mr. Saku. I decided that on the kids' birthdays, we will spoil them rotten and then Christmas will be more focused on the Savior and less about them getting presents. Troy likes the idea so birthdays might be over the top here, but really it is a special day to celebrate these amazing kids in our family.

We love Isi 2014

Father's Day took place right after Scout Camp this year so Father's Day celebration was more special this year Of course, we appreciate him every day but this year we were all more aware of how amazing he is and how much we love the simple fact that he is ours.

We let him sleep in and baked pannukakku for breakfast. We woke him up with "paljon onnea vaan". His present was two water bottles for his bike. It was his request as he wants his water to stay cold while he bikes to work. 

The lack of pictures for the rest of the day shows how we were caught up on being together and somehow didn't get around to taking a picture. I actually did request a picture after church but Troy quickly changed clothes. Not because he didn't want a picture but he just wanted to get comfortable. Fortunately, we have pictures from other ordinary days that show our awesome isi and the kids together. 

We had home made pizza for lunch and then left overs for dinner, which was nice since 2-5 pm church makes dinner pretty hard. We also surprised Troy with some Ben&Jerry's chocolate fudge brownie ice cream.

Troy also felt the baby move for the first time on Father's Day. It wasn't a ninja kick but a little flutter that he could feel.

Swimming while waiting for isi to get home

While Troy was at scout camp, we tried to keep ourselves occupied with activities without getting too exhausted. And we actually, or should I say that I, managed to do it very well.

On Friday afternoon when we had less than 24 hours until Troy would be home, we went over to a friend's house to do some water activities and swimming. The kids also made some Father's Day cards.

The kids had a sponge relay where they used a sponge to fill up a mixing bowl with water. Saku participated the whole time and had a great time. Sometimes he can be timid around bigger crowds so I was happy to see him join the fun. Eerika even went to do it once. 

Eerika opted to swim in the little baby pool, which really was fine by me as the pool was fenced and there wasn't a good spot for me to sit next to the pool and there was only one step where she could have been safe. 

So she played with sponges, splashed and floated to her heart's content. Plus she had the pool to herself.

Saku is such a strong swimmer but this was the first time that he had swam in a pool that had bunch of toys, bunch of people and a middle section where he couldn't touch the bottom and keep his head above the water.

He loved the tubes. He loved jumping into the water. He loved the bigger boys' games and horsing around. However, I was a bit nervous the whole time. He would swim underneath the huge tubes and sometimes he would keep bopping into them instead getting through them and I had to keep checking to make sure that he was strong enough to keep treading the water while doing his game.

It was a great experience for him, but it took a lot of energy out of me to SO vigilant plus to check on Eerika as well. 

Miss Eerika LOVES her swimming lessons

"What day is today?"

"It is a swimming lesson day"

"YAY!!!" followed by dancing.

Eerika loves her swimming lessons. She loves her teacher Ms. Savannah. She will jump into the water if you hold her hands and doesn't mind going underwater. She is still a bit apprehensive about floating on her back, but there are NO tears. She can do monkey walk all by herself and she can climb out of the pool after doing a monkey walk.  She has strong legs when she kicks around. She won't be swimming on her by the time this session ends but she will be moving up to the next class, which should be getting her much closer to independent swimming.

Plus girlfriend is cute enough to walk into Sprouts with just her bathing suit and rocking her brother's sunglasses. 

Sometimes I Just Need to Breathe

Lately I have had crazy dreams. Dreams that leave me feeling restless and sometimes even anxious. I lay here in bed and say a prayer in my hazy brain, takes some deep breaths and usually miss Eerika wakes up by then and off we go for another day.

Eerika loves sleeping on our floor. There is a comforter folded up as a mattress, a pillow and another comforter to work as a blanket as on most nights, she ends on the floor. Last night it was little after 1 am when I heard some whimpering. She was laying on the landing and wanted a drink. She got a drink of water, went potty and was back to sleep within 20 seconds. She just likes the comfort of sleeping near us. It is quite wonderful to be the source of comfort for someone like that. I always sleep so much better when Troy is sleeping next to me. 

This week has been busy with Saku's birthday celebration and the birthday party. Yes two different things. Grandma and Grandpa have been visiting us. It has been very good. Tomorrow night is my last shift at work. I realize that being busy sucks the life out of me. Especially when I am pregnant. So this morning I am craving for our usual routine of slow morning with lots of reading, lego building and the obligatory playing of "little girl".

These two children are growing. They are still little, but they aren't so little anymore. Eerika vacuumed her room, by herself, after playing with styrofoam.  

Pictures to prove that I strive to have Eerika's hair done every once a while, but the reality is that we do our hair about every other day. It is a fight to get it done, but then she is usually pretty proud of her "pretty hair".

Here is pictures to prove Saku's culinary skills the other day. 

My growing belly. This picture was taken in the afternoon as I was 19 weeks along. The little one moves all the time now. It is such a blessing to feel it. 

The anxiety of this morning has left me as I listen to Eerika's breathing. Sometimes i just need to lay here for a bit, look at my wonderful life and take a deep breath.  I am blessed.

Saturday Reflections

On Saturday morning, Troy and I went to the Gilbert temple. I feel much obligation go to the temple to be obedient and also to serve. It is not that I don't like it, but it feels a bit like work sometimes. I always leave feeling great, but I am not always running with enthusiasm  to get back there. 

I really enjoyed my time there on Saturday. I felt peace. I felt like I found some simple answers to what I am looking for. I loved watching the sisters who were helping with the temple work.  I felt renewed sense of wanting to focus on the things that matter the most. 

It was simply a good morning.  

I am not great at taking pictures of myself and Troy together so it is fun to see our happy faces together here. We really live a happy and blessed life. 

I love this man!

Striving for simplicity

I have been reading a book about being intentional about our lives.  Slowing down so we can enjoy life. Making choices that support the way we want to live. I have loved every page of that book. 

So I will be intentional and quickly write my joy of feeling the little baby move inside my belly. Just since Thursday can I feel it more consistently. Ironically enough it was after my doctor's appointment and hearing the whoosh of the heart beat. Maybe my poor crazy brain needed another assurance that everything was okay to really believe that what I was feeling was the baby.

We have started to read Harry Potter to Saku. He loves it. We love reading it to him. His imagination is captured by the world of wizards and we spent a good 45 minutes during the day reading it. 

I snuggled Eerika to sleep during her nap time as I do on most days.  I treasure these little moments with her. 

Saku cracked six eggs and made scrambled eggs with ham for lunch today. He said that "being a chef is hard" but insisted on doing it all on his own. I helped just enough to make sure all the eggs were cooked.

A little voice is calling my name from my bedroom. The kids are sleeping in there. Or at least Saku is. Camry and her kids are upstairs. Tomorrow will be a full day with friends and swimming lessons and I will go to sleep so I can enjoy it.

Mr. Peabody and Sherman

Because we live far away from everything, when we go to town I try to multitask and do several different things in one trip. Sometimes it works great and sometimes we come home so exhausted. 

On Tuesday morning I had the idea of taking the kids to the movies before their swimming lessons. 

We saw Mr. Peabody and Sherman 3D. I wondered if the kids would be okay keeping the 3D glasses on for the whole movie. They did fine and looked so cute with the glasses on munching their popcorn.

We also smuggled our dinner with us. It was a fancy peanut butter and jelly sandwich and string cheese. We did not have enough time to do a proper dinner so we packed it with us.

Fortunately, this outing did not leave us exhausted. The kids got scared for times during the movie but liked it overall. 

Flounder and Goldfish

The kids had their first official swimming lesson. Last summer we did few lessons with Andrea, but the pool was freezing and it was not a fun experience for any of us, including Coach Andrea.  So we decided to fork out the money and enrolled Saku and Eerika at Sunshien Swim School. There are three kids per one lesson so they get good personalized time with the teacher.

Eerika is not afraid of water per se. She will go under water in the shallow area and in the bathtub and she will hold her breath nicely for good five seconds. But this summer, she got afraid of the "deep end" and has absolutely refused to swim with us.

She was all smiles before the lesson. And she was all smiles after the lesson.

 Their lessons are 25 minutes long and Eerika cried 20 minutes of it at different degrees of loudness. "I want to be done" "You are not listening to me" as she referred to the "I want to be done", "I want to sit at the steps" were frequently heard phrases during the lesson.

However she calmed down by the end of it and she was smiling when the lesson was done. I was impressed how composed the teacher was. She was kind while being firm. She dunked Eerika under the water, made her hold on to the pool's edge and climb out and she held Eerika a lot. 

Eerika is not usually the kid that cries a lot so it was hard to watch her struggle, keep cheering for her while knowing that she was little bit afraid and a lot of bit mad. I hope that by end of our 10 lessons she will be happy in the water and learn the basic swimming skills. 

Saku, on the other hand, rocked his lesson. He would throw a ring, swim to it and dive to the bottom of the pool to retrieve a ring and then swim back to the steps. He needs to work on his back floating but he let Ms. Paige help him with it which is better than he does with us. He really loved the lesson and I think he will improve in his skills dramatically. He is a natural swimmer so it will be fun to how much he can learn when he has someone teaching him.

Crowded Camping

This girl slept well all night and had an awesome bed head to show for it.

Last weekend we went on a family camp out up in Mt. Lemmon. We like camping and I have felt the urgency of doing things this summer as Saku will start school in July and our days of freedom are numbered. 

We had fun, but it was not an optimal camping set up. 

Troy was sick. 

Our tent ended up being too snuck for all of us. We were fine with it last summer but our kids have grown and I am pregnant now.

Our tent was on a downhill so Troy kept sliding downwards for the first half of the night before we switched sleeping positions.  I dont think he slept at all until 2 am. And then I was wide awake and freaked out by some animal sounds.

There was fire restrictions so we couldn't have a fire. And camping without a fire is little anticlimactic. 

BUT the kids had fun playing in the dirt. Though I am ready for a less dirt camping and more forest camping. 

We had a fun hike on Friday night.

I had come prepared with bagels so we had food to eat for breakfast even though we couldn't make scrambled eggs and bacon. 

Troy was crafty and boiled some eggs for us on his small camping stove. 

The kids slept beautifully through the night. 

18 weeks along

Some people say that when you are having your third baby, fourth baby etc., you don't think of how far along you are. I am not one of those people. If you ask me how far along I am, I can tell you the exact number of weeks and days. I think it is because for so many weeks, I just wanted to get past those early weeks and feel like I could actually enjoy the pregnancy and the idea of having a baby. We are way past the first trimester, but I still have my moments of worry and doubt.  I think they will stay with me until I actually hold this baby in my arms.

Prior to our last appointment, I had worried that I hadn't gained weight while we had vacationed and eaten plenty of good food. Any other time it would have obviously been a cause of a celebration to get away with it, but I was worried that it was a sign that something was wrong.

Well this past month, I started to gain the weight. I think that is the pattern of my previous pregnancies as well. Between weeks 16 and 24, I suddenly gain a lot of weight and then it evens out. I really am not that concerned about it as I don't aspire to be the cutest pregnant lady on the block, I just want to be a pregnant lady. But then again, I don't want to turn into a whale because I was "not that concerned about it".  I have been walking on the treadmill. For some reason, I get very out of breath when going up and down the stairs.

I can feel the baby move every once in a while. It is not a constant and obvious movement yet, but there are times when it surprises me and makes me feel very happy.

The kids just love the idea of the baby. Saku informed me that he loves me but he loves the baby more. Eerika constantly hugs and kisses my belly.

Troy affectionately pats my belly and says "you looks so cute".

I think it is safe to say that we are all looking forward to this baby. As Troy says "babies are awesome 20% of the time":)