Eerika is three!!

Eerika turned three on Sunday.  I had accidentally scheduled myself for Saturday night and didn't get home before Eerika woke up. So we had to get creative with our tradition of waking up the birthday person with a song, breakfast and presents.

When I got home, I asked Eerika to get back in bed. We put donuts(from the hospital cafeteria) on a tray, got the presents and blasted out the birthday song while Eerika pretended to be sleeping. She did an absolutely fabulous job of pretending to be sleeping. She didn't "wake up" until the song was over. 

She was such a gracious gift receiver. "Thank you so much" was a phrase that she repeated over and over again. 

Saku was also very sweet about being excited for Eerika. It felt like a great morning of celebrating miss Eerika. 

Birthday girl with her awesome bed head and gifts wrapped in Christmas paper.

The birthday haul included puppy dogs, legos and a baby doll. 

She also took a short nap on the way to church.

Birthday lunch was mac-n-cheese, which seemed like a treat since we haven't had those foods around this month.

At church, people congratulated the birthday girl and she felt like a rock star.

In the evening, we had the Rawlings over for smores. Eerika was happy to have marshmallows and run around with Amber, Curtis and Catherine.

Troy and I tried a new type of smore with milkyway and it was delicious.

In Our Sunday Bests

We like to be relaxed in our house and I let the kids choose their outfits on most days.

On Sundays we try to look put together. 

I really should get contacts so you can see my eyes in the picture! 

I get a lot of compliments for this skirt. It was a spontaneous purchase last fall and I have loved it! 

You never know what sort of a smile this girl will give you.

I guess we weren't that put together as Eerika only had one shoe on...

My favorite two boys and Saku's impressive lego airplane.

Birthday parties are awesome!

Saku had his first big boy birthday party. He was so excited when I told him that he would go to a party where moms didn't stay with the boys. Transformer Ethan turned five and seven boys were invited to celebrate. 

In order to eliminate feelings of sadness for Eerika, I took her to the children's museum for a girls' date. 

It was nice to go there and be able to focus on one kid and her pretending rather than trying to keep up with two games/scenarios. 

We also enjoyed a nice lunch of hot dog and diet pepsi at Costco. Plus Eerika got to watch Cinderella while we drove. She LOVES movies and it made her day.

One birthday party is fun, but two is even better. We went to another party that night for Atticus and Tristan (twin boys turning 3). The kids ate delicious dinner of sub sandwiches, chips and fruit and two huge pieces of cake. 

Lunch by the dirt and dump trucks

Today we had a picnic by the construction site near our house. 

I did not come up with this fun idea. I copied my neighbor. The kids didn't care where the idea came from. They loved the chance to have lunch while watching dump trucks scoop dirt.

Peanut butter sandwich, an apple and ginger ale taste much better when you are in a new scenery. Plus it is so fun to open your lunch box to find the food in there.

Saku exclaimed "this is the best day of my life".

Eerika probably agreed until she decided to take her shoes off and stepped into a thorn that got stuck on her foot. She wailed all the way home...

When a piece of toast becomes a luxury

I am sitting here for few minutes while I assure that Saku is asleep before jumping on the treadmill and running for a while. I love running. Now that I feel like my body is mine again, I have enjoyed the challenge of running again. I put on one of my netflix shows and I am good to go. 

Memorable moments of the following week:

Saku can tie his shoes. He learned it in two days of practicing. And he does a good job with it.

Eerika protested having a babysitter take care of her on Saturday night and went to her room at 6 pm when we left on a date and never left the room. When we got home around 11 and I changed her into pjs, she woke up and was hungry. After a quick bite of yogurt, she went back to sleep.

I am not doing 100% paleo anymore. My big treat is a whole wheat toast in the morning. The other meals are still paleo approved but I couldn't wake up to another day of just eggs for breakfast. It just wasn't worth it.

Troy and I saw Hunger Games: Catching Fire and loved it.  It was fun to go to a movie and really enjoy it. Our theater candy was cough drops as we were both a bit sick. Nothing says romance as sharing a bag of throat lozenges. 

Troy is enjoying his road bike. He has attacked some the hills around our neighborhood. I love watching him be active and find it very attractive. 

We have tried the following new foods: spaghetti squash and making noodles out of zucchini. I find both of them enjoyable while they could never replace regular pasta. I should also say that I am a pretty proud of the fact that I have not had anything processed (except that whole wheat toast) for the past 20 days.


I ended up running 4 miles! And then went to bed without posting this.

Grief

Yesterday was the due date for our baby#3. I actually didn't realize it until we were driving home from taking family pictures. I was thinking of a friend who had a c section scheduled for today and then I realized (once again) that January 15th would have been the due date for me.

Because there was no heart beat at 9 weeks, we never knew what gender the baby was.

Two weeks ago, my amazing doctor called to give an update on the genetic testing that they did on the fetus#4. She said that it was a baby boy with no chromosomal abnormalities. When I told Saku that the baby had been a boy, he was beyond happy and said "now he can sleep in my room".  I had to remind him that the baby had gone to Heavenly Father and he would get to have a brother after we were resurrected. 

Eerika hopes for a girl so the baby can sleep in her room and Saku wants a boy. Actually Saku wants twins. And at this point, no matter how much work or how little sleep it would mean, having twins sounds like a pretty amazing deal for me. 

I don't want a baby just for myself. I want Saku and Eerika have a sibling. I don't want to explain again that "the baby went to Heavenly Father". 

Yesterday I also went to get some blood drawn to see if there is a reason why I miscarried so late with the last pregnancy. I want answers but I don't because that would mean that something really was wrong. 

Today I am grieving. 

I had written my thoughts on June 15th after we found out about the miscarriage. I am glad I wrote them even though I kept them to myself.  

Dear baby #3,

We all came to see you yesterday. You were only supposed to be size of a grape but we were all excited to see you. Saku thought it was cool to see you on the x ray machine (as he called it).

As usual, we had to wait a long time but your siblings were great about hanging out at the waiting area. 

I had told Isi tha Dr. Farias was running an hour late so he should come later so he didnt waste time sitting around at the office.

It was finally time to go to the room and we got ready for our big viewing. Isi wasn't quite there yet. Your siblings were being monkeys but overall good. Then we got a shot at you and I immediately knew that something wasn't right. Dr. Farias measured you and you measured 8 wks and 3 days where as you should have been 9 wks and 2 days. I could also tell that there was no heart beat. Dr. Farias was very calm and kept looking around things. It looked like you had started out with a sibling who never developed as there were two sacs in the uterus. She kept focusing on the other sac without saying anything and then went to find another doctor to look at you. It was surreal to be there. I was calm because the kids were there. And I knew that the doctor would come and confirm what Dr. Farias hadnt said yet, that there was no heart beat.

When I saw Isi walk in and he was happy and excited to see your big brother and sister, I started to cry. I am sure that surprised him since no one expects to come to an ultrasound and get the bad news. I had worried that something might go wrong, but I didnt really think that something would go wrong. You want to think that your body is invincible. 

I know when I looked at you on the screen that you were just a little blob; however, you are more to me. I hope Heavenly Father lets me be your mom and get to know you one day. You were my January baby. I hadn't decided if I wanted to know if you are a boy or a girl. I had been so grateful about the pregnancy even though it had left me exhausted. We hadnt told many people about you. And I wasn't on planning on telling for weeks so you were my happy little secret. 

Your brother Saku was very sad about losing you last night. He is a sweet boy. He thinks he should call you spiderman. I think it sounds great. 

Heavenly Father looks out for us. Yesterday I had several promptings that I should pray for comfort no matter what happened with the ultrasound. A similar thing happened when äiti died. I might not be the best about praying always but Heavenly Father has mercy to let me know when I need his extra comfort.

Dr. Farias was so kind to remind me that it was nothing I did. I worry that I worked a night shift last week and my body was so exhausted after it. Of course I did that throughout Eerika's pregnancy and as Isi reminded me, "now we have a crazy two year old".

I am sad about losing you. I am frustrated to be back in the "not pregnant" status. I feel like I had put in those early pregnancy weeks and now they are all for nothing. It is sad to pray that I will miscarry on my own quickly. It is little scary to wait for the bleeding and wonder if there is pain. Now I worry for the following pregnancies. It will be more difficult to have faith in my body. I know it sounds dramatic since I have had two healthy and beautiful kids, but I feel very shaken by this. 

Dear baby#3, while many people dont know even know about you. While to many people, it might not seem that significant to lose a baby who is so little, you are very significant to me. You are loved. I want to think that Pirki mummi is taking care of your spirit and you get to look down at our family and see the love we have for you. 

I am constantly reminded that because something is hard doesn't mean that it is bad or unhappy. I really struggle with this now, but it doesnt mean I am unhappy. It reminds me that our lives don't need to be perfect to be happy. I am grateful for this lesson. 

And now Saku wants to do play dough. So I will concentrate on that. My body grew this amazing boy. I believe it can grow another child as well. I just have no idea how long I will have to wait. And that sucks. 

Miss Eerika-wild hair and cute dress

Eerika has many beautiful dresses to wear to church on Sundays. I am not very good at taking pictures of her when she is all dressed up. I don't want to get her dressed too early before our 2 pm church so she would stay clean and after church, we are too much in a hurry to get food into our bellies.

These pictures sum of the girl pretty well. She is wild. She gets excited easily and shows it well. She is naturally so beautiful. She is very good at coloring for her age. 

Miss Eerika in her Sunday dress on December 22nd, 2013. 

She was drawing with crayons while waiting for the french toast dinner.

This dress says "dry clean only". I did not follow that instruction and the dress survived a "hand wash" cycle in my washer. WHY would I dry clean a toddler dress???

January 2014: After Eerika went kakka, I wiped her bum as usual and she happily exclaimed "Am I awesome or what?" Referring to the treasure that she had deposited in the toilet.

Thursday Date

This week has been a true "back to real life" week. After two weeks of spending all day together, I had forgotten how few the hours as a family are with work and other responsiblities. Troy has a scout overnight training tomorrow night and I work Saturday night so I told him that we needed to do a Thursday night date. I needed to connect with him. 

Both of the kids ended up being sick today. Nothing dramatic. Cough, runny nose and maybe a bit fever. Both of the kids fell asleep before dinner. 

And then Eerika woke up when I was changing her into her pajamas.

And she joined us for our date. I really was fine with it. 

We watched Dan in Real Life.  We had watched this movie few years ago. As a rule, I do not watch the same movie twice unless it is really great. However, this movie is funny and romantic and we loved it this time around as well. 

Saku snored through the whole thing. 

Eerika and isi had a special dance party after the movie.

Tonight was a perfect Thursday date night. Nothing extravagant. But we connected through shared laughs and cute moments with Eerika. 

Last Skiing Adventure of 2013

For those who know me even a little, they know that skiing is my favorite activity.  I love being an engineer, but I have been known to say that "skiing would be my occupation of choice if I could somehow provide for my family and maintain my income."  Fortunately I have an amazing wife who support and encourages me to take a ski trip to Utah each year with my brothers, Kyle and Trent.

Since Saku and Eerika have been very little I have been "brainwashing" them into thinking that skiing is the thing.  We have watch Warren Miller movies together, gone Skiking and biking together, and we even watched an amazing ski video from Norway after one Family Home Evening (FHE).

Eerika at 23 months trying on my skis.

Last year while in Utah for Christmas, I tried to take Saku skiing at Brighton.  This was the worst idea ever!  The temperature was 18ºF, Saku and I argued over having ski poles, and the crowds were outrageous (Eevi stood in the Explorer chairlift line for 45 minutes).  Saku went up the 40ft magic carpet, "skied" about 20ft, cried yelled about being cold, and then called it a day.

Saku getting bundled up for a very cold day.

 In April we were in Utah again with Eevi's dad visiting Kyle and Jen, and Mio and Bailey.  I decided to try and take Saku skiing again.  We went to my favorite place, Alta, and the conditions were perfect for him (not so much for Kyle and I later that day).  The snow was very slushy and no matter how hard Saku tried to go fast, the sticky wet snow just wouldn't let him.  He did great and we had a blast!

Saku enjoying the spring skiing weather.

On December 30, 2013, my brother, Trent, and I decided to take a trip to Arizona Snowbowl and take our kids skiing.  He took Savannah, Brooklyn, and McKenna, while I took Saku.  The weather was sunny and a very enjoyable 35ºF.  Before leaving Phoenix, we took Saku to Sports Chalet to rent a pair of skis.  Saku is thoroughly convinced that he has to have ski poles (probably from watching me go Skiking), but they just don't make them his size.  It is also harder to learn to ski with poles, so thankfully the rental guy convinced Saku that he just couldn't rent any to him.  We got to Snowbowl and were on the slopes at 10:45 am.  We had a bit of a challenge when we first got there.  Saku's boots were too small with his wool socks (my guess is he was too excited when renting to tell me then), so after a bit of a melt down, he ended up skiing with no socks at all.

Finally we started with a quick trip down the the 450ft magic carpet.  The lines were a little long, but not bad.  Saku did great and only fell a couple of times.  After two magic carpet runs, we headed to the Aspen chairlift for Saku's first ride ever on a lift.  The line there was atrocious and we waited about 30 minutes.  Saku did great and wasn't scared at all.

He has reached this age where it really is a lot of fun to spend time with him.  He has about a million things to say and asks questions about everything.  And when he isn't talking, he will serenade you with Christmas, primary, and Taylor Swift songs.

After going on the Aspen lift, he was ready to go to the "top."  So we headed over to the Hart Prairie chairlift and got on.  We went to left off the lift and headed down the Tinhorn run.  It is a bit steeper than I remembered (it had been over 15 years since I had been there).  I had to carry Saku down the first 100ft, but then he did a great job skiing down the rest of Hart Prairie.  There were a couple of falls, but he kept getting back up and trying again.  We went up again, and this time he went down Tinhorn all by himself.  It was awesome.  As we headed down Hart Prairie to get some lunch, Saku started doing little jumps.  It totally caught me by surprise and was amazing.  On his 5th jump, he took a pretty bad fall where his skis popped off and knocked his knees.  There was quite a bit of crying.  So, I picked him up and we headed to the car for lunch.  At this point he said he was done.

I convinced him to head up and have lunch at the lodge.  While eating lunch we FaceTimed with my mom and Eevi, and while telling them about his adventures, he decided that he was ready to go out again.  We skied until they closed and Saku and I had a great time.  It was one of the best experiences that I have every had with him.  He listened really well, only cried a little, and we had fun!

For Christmas, Eevi got me a GoPro Hero3+ camera.  I took some footage and made a little montage accompanied by Saku's favorite song.

An Awesome Game

Today started as our two chicken nuggets climbed into our bed at 7:30. Troy and I stayed up way too late last night. I need my sleep so I usually make sure that lights are out by 10 pm. However, I was about to finish a good book and therefore it was close to midnight before I fell asleep. Troy was editing a video of Saku's skiing and he went to sleep even after that. 

I got my butt out for  a run and returned 25 minutes later with heavy legs and good spirits. We powered our tired bodies with sweet potato hash browns and fried eggs. 

I am no food photographer. So this is just for evidence for a super delicious meal that I had never thought of before. For the record, I liked it more than Troy did. He still wished he could have his regular hash browns.

Saturday mornings mean soccer games. I honestly wanted to skip this one. It's not that I don't love soccer games or cheering for Saku, but I wanted to enjoy one more day when we were in charge of our schedule. Troy reminded me that there might not be enough kids to play if we skipped, so at 10:30 we were all driving to the field while getting pumped up with Katy Perry's Fireworks. We also realized how we need to start filtering what music can listen as he was belting out Lady Gaga's "Do what you want" song. It is just awful. 

Saku's game was awesome. It was the best game he has ever had. He didn't score a goal, which he has done in previous games, but he had fun. He ran fast to defend his goal. He was happy when his team scored. He worked really hard. We were so proud. He did take a fall in the end and scraped up his elbow, which dampened his spirits. However, even Coach Gina noticed the difference.

We aren't sure why today's game was so good. Next week might be a struggle again, but Troy and I were so happy after the game. 

We had reminded him how some kids are better at soccer and some kids are better at skiing. I think that helped him. But really who knows. 

Lunch was a chicken chili soup. This paleo business means lot of cooking. Eerika also wanted macaroni and cheese. There was no boxed ones, so I ended up making that from scratch too.

The evening included few miles of biking for the boys. 

 

 And about a quarter of a mile biking for this girl. I am bikeless, so I just walked as she pedaled with all her might.

Dinner was ham, cauliflower, squash and zucchini. Saku said "we should have this ham every day".
I think Troy agreed:) 

Paleo Day 1

Yesterday we started on a paleo diet. For the next 30 days, our meals will be made out of vegetables, fruits, meat, nuts and healthy fats. No beans, no grains, no dairy and no sugar. I think of it as a way to detox from all the sugar and baked goods that we (though mostly I) ate during the holiday. I have read great things about it so we will see how it will make us feel. 

The kids enjoyed their lunch of smoked salmon, sweet potatoes and broccoli. Since the kids can eat "normally", they also had some cheese cubes.

We can already tell that it is a lot more work. You can't just reach for a slice of bread and the main dish staples of pasta, rice and white potatoes are out. I am hoping that this will help us get used to eating more vegetables rather than filling our bellies with carbs. 

We will probably eat lots of eggs. We tried almond butter for the first time yesterday since peanut butter is not allowed and found it delicious but expensive. Isn't that the way it always is! 

I don't know if we will love it or hate it, but either way we have 29 more days to go. 

I should say that if we could eat smoked salmon every day, we wouldnt have a problem but that would be a way too expensive. 

Important Family Facts

As of December 31st of 2013, Eerika is not using a tutti anymore! It took one night of sadness. She asked me to pray that we could find it. It wasn't lost but I wasn't in the mood to go and find it downstairs. When I prayed that she would be brave and sleep without it, she wasn't happy. She went to sleep without it and only asked for it once today. 

As of December 30th of 2013, Saku can ski down a green run all by himself and do some jumps. He is amazing. Troy will have to write down about their experience, but as I watch the videos of Saku skiing, I am loving his bravery and his endurance to ski for fours hours. 

As of December 26th of 2013, Troy is the proud owner of a road bike.  The buying experience involved waiting for the seller for 20 minutes (we were supposed to meet at 5:30), realizing that there was a flat tire, driving to another location for a tire change, finally test riding the bike, buying the bike, dead car battery, car getting jumped, eating dinner at 8 pm at Cafe Zupas and finally getting home after 9:30.  We are still waiting for the shoes to arrive in the mail. 

As of December 28th, I bought a sweet lip color that stays on for hours. Unfortunately, it also rubs on my teeth occasionally and it can be hard to get off unless I can see myself in a mirror. So I either look amazing for hours or I look like one of those grandma's with lipstick on their teeth. For now, I am taking the risk and hoping to look fabulous!

Great First Day of the Year

We had a fabulous day today. It was a work hard and play hard day. A great way to start our new year.

Eerika woke up around 8 and Troy heroically got up with her. I didnt get up until 9 am. Saku didn't get up until 10.

We ate the most delicious raspberry sour cream pancakes. Last day to enjoy them before we start a whole30 program that doesn't allow grains or sugars for 30 days. 

I didn't change out of pjs until 4 pm when we went for a family bike/run.

I was back in those pjs by 6:45 pm after I showered. 

Troy was a bit better better as he showered around 3 pm before he and Saku went to recycle our Christmas tree and buy a trail-a-bike.

However, our kids were on top of it. Each of them, independently, got dressed sometime after breakfast while they were playing upstairs.

We accomplished our goals of:

Taking down the Christmas tree and all the Christmas decorations.

Cleaning the kitchen

Unpacking our huge load of stuff from our trip to Phoenix

Vacuuming behind our couches that barely ever get moved.

We enjoyed Popo's left overs for lunch. The Mexican Restaurant that Troy's parents have eaten at for 40 years and now religiously visit each Monday. 

We read books. We snuggled and giggled. 

We biked/ran about 3 miles. 

Eerika went to sleep at 7 because girlfriend missed her nap. I cuddled her while we listened to lullabies and she drifted to sleep. Those little sweet moments of life. 

Saku, Troy and I snuggled and had a "Saku, äiti and isi" date while we watched Hugo.

Saku was very anxious to go on the bike ride. He was even ready to get rid of his mongoose bike since he can now bike with isi.

The boys working on getting a flag on.

They were ready. Troy has a sweet road bike now.

If the rest of the year is anything like today, I will love it!