Finland Memories

Magical moment of Saku running to say hi to Joulupukki as he came through the back door. It got me, Aino and Troy almost in tears. 

Saku and Eerika both rocking their snow suits and never complaining about being cold. Even when it was -12 degrees of C.

Aleksi finally got adjusted to Finnish time and had few awesome nights of sleeping five hours in a  row and then followed by three hours and three hours. 

Saku hugging Elsa and wanting to take care of her though she doesn't need it. 

Saku and Eerika being entertained by Aino and Tatu, mummi and Ukki and Mio and Bailey.

If Aleksi wasn't around, which I would never wish for, this trip would have been one relaxing vacation as our kids have wanted to play with everyone and everyone has been so kind to play with him at all times.

Aino putting ALeksi to sleep. I love seeing my baby sister rock my baby. She will be a fantastic aiti in few years.

Ukki hanging out with Aleksi and Aleksi "talking" and cracking smiles at him.

Daddy daughter lunch date. I was a bit nervous about our outing as it was after a horrendous night of sleeping 5 am-8 am and Aleksi being in pain and very difficult to soothe, but all the kids slept while I was gone so Troy didn't have to do anything except hold ALeksi and watch his TV shows.

Professional International Travelers

Our kids did an amazing job with traveling. Our connections where Tucson-Phoenix-JFK-Helsinki. Aleksi didn't make a peep for the first two flights and then cried about 10 minutes TOTAl for the last flight. It was such a blessing. It was very uncomfortable for me to hold him the whole time and nurse him and try to rock him, but it really went well.

The kids got on their gadgets right away when we got to our gate in Tucson. Troy made a comment that we probably looked like parents who just have their kids play on electronics all the time. This is obviously not true as their screen time is very restricted, but it was a good reminder to not judge or make conclusions based on one experience/situation. 

We did allow them to watch all the movies and play all the games that they wanted during the trip though.

Troy almost didn't make it past passport control. His passport expires in February and he was in violation of the three month rule. If your passport expires within three months, certain countries don't let you into the country. Finland is one of them. We were obviously not aware of this rule. Fortunately, since I am Finnish and we had kids, they let him get through. You don't really want that kind of a situation after a long travel with kids, but they patiently waited and Aleksi slept so it worked out okay.

Aleksi's second month

Aleksi will be two months tomorrow.

Before coming to Finland, he had a pretty good schedule. He had learned to be fine in the car seat, which made school pick ups much nicer.  He took three 1.5 hour naps and one short nap in the evening. Who knows what kind of a schedule we will have after Finland. I feed him every three hours and it seems to work for him very well. 

I have been much better about handing him out to people to hold; whether it is Grandma or someone who offers to hold him at church. I don't intuitively think of handing my baby to anyone or put him down, so the fact that I lay him down and let him stretch is improvement for me. 

Aleksi very much likes to stretch out on the floor as long as you don't leave him there for too long.  He "talks" back to you and smiles big at diaper changes. 

Being in Finland has been very hard on Aleksi. His stomach issues have made him miserable on several different days and he develop a bit of a cough. I am hoping that next week he will be happier and more rested. 

Aino has become Aleksi's best friend. He will smile and make noises at her as well as fall asleep in her arms. This is obviously very much of a relief for Troy and I so we can do things together such as go to Sauna without Aleksi.

He likes the car seat that we are borrowing from Anna. It keeps him nice and snug when he has his snow clothes on. Troy even joked that we should have him sleep in it so we could get more sleep.

Aleksi's statistics at 2 months:

weight 12 lbs 4 oz (77%)
lenth 22.3 in (77%)
head 38.7 cm (32%)  

Coloring at 2 am

Eerika got a Hello Kitty coloring book from Grandma for Christmas. On our third night in Finland, Eerika was suffering from jet lag and woke up at 2 am and insisted on coloring. We put her in the garage/storage room so she wouldn't wake up Aleksi or Saku. She was as happy as could be and kept her promise to go back to sleep after she finished her picture. 

Aleksi the Finnish Baby

Aleksi likes being bundled up. His tummy does not like ruisleipä so I have to wait until my next trip to enjoy it. He was in so much pain for the past two days and we couldn't figure out why he would cry. Ruisleipä is the only thing that I can think of that would be different in my diet, so no more of that.

Husband and Dad of the Year

Newborns, sleep and staying at other people's houses can be a bit stressful for me.  I don't like to inconvenience other people and a crying baby at 2 am can do that. On the first night at Troy's parents, after 1 am feed, Troy took Aleksi to the living room and this is how they slept until 7 am. Troy did bring Aleksi back to our bedroom for 3 am feed. Troy knew that I needed my sleep and he knew that any little peep would stress me out...I guess Aleksi stirred a bit around 5 am but slept otherwise great.

So Aleksi and Troy had their first father and son camp out:) 

Both boys slept with me in the bedroom the following night:)

Cars

Saku loves cars. This is a very new development. He draws different logos. He loves to call out the makes and models as we drive from school. He draws his own sketches of cars. And when he becomes a car maker, he will give a free car to all of his family members. Camaro is Saku's favorite car.

Pictures and captions to remember our life

There doesn't seem to be enough time to write here regularly, but I want to capture few things.

Erika rides her battery operated four wheeler to preschool every once in a while. She looks awesome in her pink hello kitty helmet, Saku's old pilot jacket and sparkly shoes. I hope she will stay like this, willing to do "not girly" things in her own style.

Saku loves to play at the school playground after school with his friend Zane. Eerika joins them with Zane's little sister Layla. 

Eerika informed me that she doesn't like preschool because she has to do hard things like write her name...

Aleksi was crying and I was standing and patting his back. Eerika looked at me and said in a matter of fact voice "He likes when you move, SO walk" and she walked away.

Aleksi has started to making cooking sounds and smiles at us. We all very in awe of this cute little face.

These pictures are for his passport. The first passport picture attempt was not acceptable so we did another photo shoot. We got Aleksi's passport last week so he is good to go to Finland in six days! 

Our kids got dressed up for Thanksgiving dinner. The whole Thanksgiving weekend was awesome as cousins played. There were many hands to hold Aleksi. Troy went golfing with his dad, Kyle and Saku. Saku did 9 holes. I ran on two days. Troy biked. And Aleksi slept well enough that I didn't get too worked up.

Cambree and Eerika loved playing together over Thanksgiving, except when they both wanted to the boss and fought like cats and dogs. Eerika informed me that she wants to be Camree. When I asked her why, she said "because she has her own phone".

Why Three Kids is Hard for Me

I think I have pinpointed what makes three kids hard for me. Or maybe I should say a little baby and two other kids. I feel like I just don't get to spend quality time with any of them. Though it is mostly the older kids that I miss the time with. Since Eerika and Saku play so nicely together, I can often hold Aleksi and they don't even notice my lack of attention towards them. However, as a six week old baby requires so much time from me, I feel like I am constantly telling Saku or Eerika "hold on, I will go and lay Aleksi down" "I will quickly feed him/change his diaper" or I am pacing around if he gets fussy rather than sitting down and coloring/reading/playing with them.

I know it is a phase and most likely a phase that the older kids won't even really remember as the time when I didn't get to spend as much time with them. They still love Aleksi and so affectionally want to  touch him/kiss him/hug him/be in his face. Only once has Eerika seemed frustrated by the fact that Aleksi woke up in the middle of our game, but he continued to sleep on my lap while we played so she got over it quickly.

Oh and dinner time is hard with three kids. Or again with a baby and two older kids.  I really don't feel that it is the number of kids necessarily but the newborn. 

Aleksi really is a very calm and easy going baby. However, he isn't a baby who is okay to left in the swing or a bouncer for a really long time. He wants to be with me and then he just stares at me happily as I hold him. This is fine if I had a cook, but that hasn't happened yet, so as I make dinner in the evenings with one hand and try to have the older kids take care of their things (homework, setting the table etc), the stress can really creep into my head. Plus I feel like I am more hurried and I do more nagging lately, which I hate the words when they come out of my mouth, but I am not sure exactly how to stop them.

Yesterday was a great day. Aleksi took a great nap so Eerika and I ate lunch together uninterrupted, we read books and we played her favorite pretend game. I got to focus on her for two full hours without having to go and do something else. She went to play with Genevieve while I picked up Saku so in the car from school, I just focused on Saku as Aleksi continued to sleep. He slept for almost four hours in spite of being moved to the car and out of the car three times.

We also enjoyed a story time all snuggled together. Aleksi on my lap facing the book and Saku and Eerika on my sides. Dinner was made without an incident and consumed in a happy manner. Troy was home so he put the older kids to bed while I put Aleksi to bed. Alexis fell asleep on his own without a beep and the older kids stayed in their beds. I ran a mile on the treadmill, and Troy and I got to spend quality time together before I fell asleep at 10 pm. 

I know yesterday was an answer to a prayer as I just felt like I wasn't cut out to be a mother of three. I had emailed dad and asked for his prayers as well and I know he prayed for me and I know all of our prayers were answered.

So no matter what today brings as it is 6 am and I need to get Saku ready for school, I have a great day in my recent memory that will give the mental strength when I feel like I am not "performing" well enough. 

Aleksi William Grossarth

Our Little Ninja got his name and a blessing on Sunday November 23rd. All of Troy's brothers and their families, except for Savannah who is in Milan, Italy, were able to come. We haven't had all of them in our house together before so this was pretty special. As I watched all the brothers and Troy's dad get in the circle to give the blessing, I felt a deep sense of gratitude and amazement of these men who hold the priesthood and were part of my son's blessing.

Troy felt nervous before the blessing. He said he didn't know what to say. This shows to me that the words that he says during the blessings aren't from him. It is a not a prepared speech that he says, but a heavenly inspiration and a blessing for Little Ninja.

We chose the name Aleksi William Grossarth. Because his nick name Little Ninja became so widely known and because it is an awesome nickname, I was wondering how hard it would be to transition. The kids still use Little Ninja a  lot, especially Eerika, but Troy and I have started to use Aleksi as the main name. William is the name of both Troy's grandpas.

The kids were a bit confused, due to miscommunication, and they thought that none of us knew Aleksi's name. Two days before the blessing day, Saku said "we only have two days to think of a name for Little Ninja. We better hurry." After the blessing, I turned to Eerika and told her Aleksi's name. She didn't like the name and I had to take her out in to the foyer as she was misbehaving. She has since changed her mind and approves the name.

We weren't great about taking pictures that day. By the time dinner was eaten, Troy and I both felt very tired and Troy actually ended up falling asleep several times as we sat on the couches and chatted. We chose to keep the blessing day very low key to minimize stress and the amount of energy that the day would take out of us. 

In the blessing, Aleksi was blessed with the following things

-He would seek the Lord

-He was blessed with a faith to move mountains and to know without a doubt of Savior's love for him.

-when he would face decisions, Heavenly Father would guide him and he will listen to the help given by Heavenly Father

-Reminder of a brother and sister who love him very much

-Ability to return that love and work together and strengthen one another

-When the time comes, to serve the Lord and Aleksi's light will shine as a beacon and those around him will see the light of Christ in his eyes.

-Return honorable and find a companion and be sealed for all time and eternity through the amazing priesthood.

-Be a father who is constantly there for them and love them no matter what kind of choices they make.

I especially love the part about the siblings working and strengthening each other as well as the blessing of being a father who is present with his children. 

Hayden loves babies and held Aleksi for a very long time.

Grandma holding Aleksi. He is wearing the same outfit that Grandma made for Saku's blessing day.

Eerika and Saku are the most wonderful siblings.

So grateful for this man and all he has done since Aleksi's birth.

I love how it looks like Aleksi's is looking straight at Troy.

The whole Grossarth clan. Saku happened to trip over the rocks right before this picture and hit his hip on the corner of one of the steps. Not a great picture but it documents the support that we have.

Having a newborn is such a roller coaster. One day seems just fine and I think "I can handle this pretty well" and "Three kids isn't so bad" and then there are days when I am just exhausted and overwhelmed and you feel so inadequate. 

Tonight is a good night. Aleksi is asleep. Troy is putting the kids to bed. I got a solid 45 minute nap with Eeirka on one side and Aleksi on my chest. We went to the library. Library equals many books equals happiness in my mind.  

Saku had a turkey trot today. I hadn't planned on going to watch him. Since it is a good 20 minute drive and it was scheduled right in the middle of Aleksi's morning nap, I figured that it was too inconvenient. However, he seemed sad when he realized that I hadn't planned on going. So I quickly loaded up the car with the car seat attachment to the stroller and planned on walking for an hour or so around the school while Aleksi napped. Like most things in life, it didn't work out quite as well as he kept waking up and then going back to sleep, but I got to cheer for Saku and it was worth the inconvenience. 

Troy got home by 5:30 and we made dinner together, ate it together and then played few games of Uno. Saku didn't win, but he didn't get upset which is a huge deal. 

I have to remind myself that hard doesn't equal bad. It is not easy to have three kids and parent the way that I want to, to be really present with my kids. But as long as I am forgiving of my short comings as well as everyone else's, I know this can be a very happy time in our lives. It won't be easy.

Nap Time

I have been very luck since Little Ninja's birth as most days, Eerika and he have napped at the same time. This means that on many days, I have napped as well.

Eerika at 3 years and 10 months still rocks at napping. It is such a blessing and continues to be a special time for us to snuggle.

Spelling Bee

Saku competed in Mesquite's spelling bee today. He won his class' spelling bee so he presented his class in the school wide spelling bee. We got the list of the words last week and practiced on and off. I was impressed how many of the words he could very confidently spell. However, we were a bit distracted with Little Ninja and we really didn't practice as much as I think we would have under other circumstances. 

This morning we were all nervous. Right before they called Saku up, he said "I am so nervous". We said a quick prayer and I almost got emotional as I prayed that Saku could be brave, remember the words he had practiced and be happy no matter what.  It is not easy to see your five year old compete in something. He was handed a water bottle as they waited for the bee to start. I wish we had pictures but they weren't allowed. 

They drew numbers for the order of which they would be spelling words and Saku happened to be the first one. They did one round of practice and Saku spelled "the" in a nice and clear voice.

Saku made it through five rounds and the sixth round's word was  "pretty". Unfortunately he spelled it P-R-I-T-T-Y and he was out. 

He was so sad. Troy had been allowed to sit next to him so Saku quickly climbed onto his lap and sobbed. It was not a surprising reaction as he is sensitive to failure and he really wanted the trophy.

I am very proud of him. It is cool to see your child accomplish something like this, but more so, I loved the fact that he really practiced hard.

To cheer Saku up, Eerika and I bought a balloon for him and a donut that waited for him in the car after we picked him up from school. By the afternoon, there was no evidence of sadness for his third place in the spelling bee.

Now we know what to expect and we can prepare for next year:)

Week 3 of Little Ninja

Little Ninja was 9 lbs and 10 oz at three week check up and had grown to be 21.5 inches long. 

He sleeps half the night in his bassinet and then he ends up sleeping next to me in the early morning hours. 

He likes to take showers.

He has the loudest man burps.

He still poops every time he eats.

He smiled and made a cooing sound for the first time on Sunday November 16th.

He calms down with isi very well. I have started to call Troy "the baby whisperer".

Getting Perspective

I find it difficult to truly put down my thoughts and feelings.  I want my writing to be authentic and to depict the life that we live and the triumphs as well as the struggles that we go through. However, it can be difficult to write about the awesome things without sounding prideful and it is hard to honestly  write about the hard every day situations without sounding like a whiner or a complainer. And since there are some people how read my blog, I honestly don't want to be judged. However, I have noticed that as I go back through the blog posts from the past five plus years, it is so good to read about the mundane challenges and little bits of pure happiness that I have written down. 

On Tuesday night, I was reading a book of short stories of motherhood and I can't even remember the exact story or idea, but I clicked in my head that I had too high of expectations for now. Because Little Ninja was a sleepy baby and slept "really well" for a newborn, in my head I was thinking that he would start sleeping huge chunks of time by now. Maybe because it feels like he has been with us for so long, but I somehow forgot that he is still a newborn. He is only three weeks old. Maybe because we went back to church five days after his birth, I feel like we have been back to "regular life" for a long time and I feel like I should be more productive. So I would look at the clutter around my house because it is hard to pick up things when you are holding a baby and feel stressed.  Maybe because he was such a sweet quiet baby for the first two weeks, I felt a selfish feeling of alarm as he had a fussy weekend and I thought "oh please don't be hard baby". And I didn't honestly think of it because I can't handle a hard baby, I am okay with a baby who cries and needs to be held. However, I selfishly was thinking how it would reflect on me to have a "hard baby"; especially, after we had told people what an angel baby he had been. And I didn't want someone to label him as a "difficult baby". I get defensive like that when it comes to my children. Selfishly, I wanted to be the awesome wife who doesn't wake up her husband to help with the baby. And while I am sure Troy enjoyed the many nights that he wasn't up, I realize I don't do any service by being a martyr if we do have a rough night. And I realized how I need to be more patient with Saku and Eerika. They have adjusted to Little Ninja so well, and they deserve my patience and benefit of the doubt when it comes to their actions. 

Something that Tuesday night just made me have a moment of realization that my life right now is beautiful and awesome. So last night at 2 am, I was holding Little Ninja and inhaling his baby smell, his head smells delicious and his breath is awful, I felt so grateful. I felt grateful for him. I felt grateful for Troy who has offered many times to get up and help during the night. I felt grateful for the kids who were sound asleep. I felt grateful for my healthy body, the ability to nurse Little Ninja without problems, and the fact that I will be running and hopefully running fast very soon. 

Another blessing has been Troy's wisdom. I don't say that in a sarcastic way. He reminded me how important it was to swaddle Little Ninja. Though he slept fine without being swaddled or being loosely swaddled, he sleeps much better when he is swaddled very tight. Because he is not as consumed with Little Ninja, he has better perspective on things and reminds me that Little Ninja, just like my other two kids, is not a reflection on me as a mom.  When I can separate that in my head, I am much more patient and tolerant and loving. 

Of course, it is much easier to have a good perspective as Little Ninja is sleeping on his own and the kids are happily playing in the backyard. Plus I have had two nights of good sleep, which right now means that Little Ninja slept three hours in a row, nursed and went right back to sleep. 

Saku and Eerika love coloring, drawing and cutting things. They often spend an hour or more doing this in the afternoons. 

Sibling Love

During the first two weeks, Little Ninja was very sleepy and therefore, he didn't seem to notice the poking, holding, and touching that his siblings like to subject him to, especially Eerika. Now that he is more alert and we try to have some sort of a schedule, a term that is used very loosely here, he isn't as much of a fan of the "I am in your face" attention that Saku and Eerika sometimes give him. These pictures from yesterday demonstrate his tolerance for Eerika's affection.

"Oh there is a finger in my eye, but I am ok."

"I she still there?"

"I am wishing that she would give me some space"

"Not another one!!"

"She just doesn't listen."