Aleksi William Grossarth

Our Little Ninja got his name and a blessing on Sunday November 23rd. All of Troy's brothers and their families, except for Savannah who is in Milan, Italy, were able to come. We haven't had all of them in our house together before so this was pretty special. As I watched all the brothers and Troy's dad get in the circle to give the blessing, I felt a deep sense of gratitude and amazement of these men who hold the priesthood and were part of my son's blessing.

Troy felt nervous before the blessing. He said he didn't know what to say. This shows to me that the words that he says during the blessings aren't from him. It is a not a prepared speech that he says, but a heavenly inspiration and a blessing for Little Ninja.

We chose the name Aleksi William Grossarth. Because his nick name Little Ninja became so widely known and because it is an awesome nickname, I was wondering how hard it would be to transition. The kids still use Little Ninja a  lot, especially Eerika, but Troy and I have started to use Aleksi as the main name. William is the name of both Troy's grandpas.

The kids were a bit confused, due to miscommunication, and they thought that none of us knew Aleksi's name. Two days before the blessing day, Saku said "we only have two days to think of a name for Little Ninja. We better hurry." After the blessing, I turned to Eerika and told her Aleksi's name. She didn't like the name and I had to take her out in to the foyer as she was misbehaving. She has since changed her mind and approves the name.

We weren't great about taking pictures that day. By the time dinner was eaten, Troy and I both felt very tired and Troy actually ended up falling asleep several times as we sat on the couches and chatted. We chose to keep the blessing day very low key to minimize stress and the amount of energy that the day would take out of us. 

In the blessing, Aleksi was blessed with the following things

-He would seek the Lord

-He was blessed with a faith to move mountains and to know without a doubt of Savior's love for him.

-when he would face decisions, Heavenly Father would guide him and he will listen to the help given by Heavenly Father

-Reminder of a brother and sister who love him very much

-Ability to return that love and work together and strengthen one another

-When the time comes, to serve the Lord and Aleksi's light will shine as a beacon and those around him will see the light of Christ in his eyes.

-Return honorable and find a companion and be sealed for all time and eternity through the amazing priesthood.

-Be a father who is constantly there for them and love them no matter what kind of choices they make.

I especially love the part about the siblings working and strengthening each other as well as the blessing of being a father who is present with his children. 

Hayden loves babies and held Aleksi for a very long time.

Grandma holding Aleksi. He is wearing the same outfit that Grandma made for Saku's blessing day.

Eerika and Saku are the most wonderful siblings.

So grateful for this man and all he has done since Aleksi's birth.

I love how it looks like Aleksi's is looking straight at Troy.

The whole Grossarth clan. Saku happened to trip over the rocks right before this picture and hit his hip on the corner of one of the steps. Not a great picture but it documents the support that we have.

Having a newborn is such a roller coaster. One day seems just fine and I think "I can handle this pretty well" and "Three kids isn't so bad" and then there are days when I am just exhausted and overwhelmed and you feel so inadequate. 

Tonight is a good night. Aleksi is asleep. Troy is putting the kids to bed. I got a solid 45 minute nap with Eeirka on one side and Aleksi on my chest. We went to the library. Library equals many books equals happiness in my mind.  

Saku had a turkey trot today. I hadn't planned on going to watch him. Since it is a good 20 minute drive and it was scheduled right in the middle of Aleksi's morning nap, I figured that it was too inconvenient. However, he seemed sad when he realized that I hadn't planned on going. So I quickly loaded up the car with the car seat attachment to the stroller and planned on walking for an hour or so around the school while Aleksi napped. Like most things in life, it didn't work out quite as well as he kept waking up and then going back to sleep, but I got to cheer for Saku and it was worth the inconvenience. 

Troy got home by 5:30 and we made dinner together, ate it together and then played few games of Uno. Saku didn't win, but he didn't get upset which is a huge deal. 

I have to remind myself that hard doesn't equal bad. It is not easy to have three kids and parent the way that I want to, to be really present with my kids. But as long as I am forgiving of my short comings as well as everyone else's, I know this can be a very happy time in our lives. It won't be easy.

Nap Time

I have been very luck since Little Ninja's birth as most days, Eerika and he have napped at the same time. This means that on many days, I have napped as well.

Eerika at 3 years and 10 months still rocks at napping. It is such a blessing and continues to be a special time for us to snuggle.

Spelling Bee

Saku competed in Mesquite's spelling bee today. He won his class' spelling bee so he presented his class in the school wide spelling bee. We got the list of the words last week and practiced on and off. I was impressed how many of the words he could very confidently spell. However, we were a bit distracted with Little Ninja and we really didn't practice as much as I think we would have under other circumstances. 

This morning we were all nervous. Right before they called Saku up, he said "I am so nervous". We said a quick prayer and I almost got emotional as I prayed that Saku could be brave, remember the words he had practiced and be happy no matter what.  It is not easy to see your five year old compete in something. He was handed a water bottle as they waited for the bee to start. I wish we had pictures but they weren't allowed. 

They drew numbers for the order of which they would be spelling words and Saku happened to be the first one. They did one round of practice and Saku spelled "the" in a nice and clear voice.

Saku made it through five rounds and the sixth round's word was  "pretty". Unfortunately he spelled it P-R-I-T-T-Y and he was out. 

He was so sad. Troy had been allowed to sit next to him so Saku quickly climbed onto his lap and sobbed. It was not a surprising reaction as he is sensitive to failure and he really wanted the trophy.

I am very proud of him. It is cool to see your child accomplish something like this, but more so, I loved the fact that he really practiced hard.

To cheer Saku up, Eerika and I bought a balloon for him and a donut that waited for him in the car after we picked him up from school. By the afternoon, there was no evidence of sadness for his third place in the spelling bee.

Now we know what to expect and we can prepare for next year:)

Week 3 of Little Ninja

Little Ninja was 9 lbs and 10 oz at three week check up and had grown to be 21.5 inches long. 

He sleeps half the night in his bassinet and then he ends up sleeping next to me in the early morning hours. 

He likes to take showers.

He has the loudest man burps.

He still poops every time he eats.

He smiled and made a cooing sound for the first time on Sunday November 16th.

He calms down with isi very well. I have started to call Troy "the baby whisperer".

Getting Perspective

I find it difficult to truly put down my thoughts and feelings.  I want my writing to be authentic and to depict the life that we live and the triumphs as well as the struggles that we go through. However, it can be difficult to write about the awesome things without sounding prideful and it is hard to honestly  write about the hard every day situations without sounding like a whiner or a complainer. And since there are some people how read my blog, I honestly don't want to be judged. However, I have noticed that as I go back through the blog posts from the past five plus years, it is so good to read about the mundane challenges and little bits of pure happiness that I have written down. 

On Tuesday night, I was reading a book of short stories of motherhood and I can't even remember the exact story or idea, but I clicked in my head that I had too high of expectations for now. Because Little Ninja was a sleepy baby and slept "really well" for a newborn, in my head I was thinking that he would start sleeping huge chunks of time by now. Maybe because it feels like he has been with us for so long, but I somehow forgot that he is still a newborn. He is only three weeks old. Maybe because we went back to church five days after his birth, I feel like we have been back to "regular life" for a long time and I feel like I should be more productive. So I would look at the clutter around my house because it is hard to pick up things when you are holding a baby and feel stressed.  Maybe because he was such a sweet quiet baby for the first two weeks, I felt a selfish feeling of alarm as he had a fussy weekend and I thought "oh please don't be hard baby". And I didn't honestly think of it because I can't handle a hard baby, I am okay with a baby who cries and needs to be held. However, I selfishly was thinking how it would reflect on me to have a "hard baby"; especially, after we had told people what an angel baby he had been. And I didn't want someone to label him as a "difficult baby". I get defensive like that when it comes to my children. Selfishly, I wanted to be the awesome wife who doesn't wake up her husband to help with the baby. And while I am sure Troy enjoyed the many nights that he wasn't up, I realize I don't do any service by being a martyr if we do have a rough night. And I realized how I need to be more patient with Saku and Eerika. They have adjusted to Little Ninja so well, and they deserve my patience and benefit of the doubt when it comes to their actions. 

Something that Tuesday night just made me have a moment of realization that my life right now is beautiful and awesome. So last night at 2 am, I was holding Little Ninja and inhaling his baby smell, his head smells delicious and his breath is awful, I felt so grateful. I felt grateful for him. I felt grateful for Troy who has offered many times to get up and help during the night. I felt grateful for the kids who were sound asleep. I felt grateful for my healthy body, the ability to nurse Little Ninja without problems, and the fact that I will be running and hopefully running fast very soon. 

Another blessing has been Troy's wisdom. I don't say that in a sarcastic way. He reminded me how important it was to swaddle Little Ninja. Though he slept fine without being swaddled or being loosely swaddled, he sleeps much better when he is swaddled very tight. Because he is not as consumed with Little Ninja, he has better perspective on things and reminds me that Little Ninja, just like my other two kids, is not a reflection on me as a mom.  When I can separate that in my head, I am much more patient and tolerant and loving. 

Of course, it is much easier to have a good perspective as Little Ninja is sleeping on his own and the kids are happily playing in the backyard. Plus I have had two nights of good sleep, which right now means that Little Ninja slept three hours in a row, nursed and went right back to sleep. 

Saku and Eerika love coloring, drawing and cutting things. They often spend an hour or more doing this in the afternoons. 

Sibling Love

During the first two weeks, Little Ninja was very sleepy and therefore, he didn't seem to notice the poking, holding, and touching that his siblings like to subject him to, especially Eerika. Now that he is more alert and we try to have some sort of a schedule, a term that is used very loosely here, he isn't as much of a fan of the "I am in your face" attention that Saku and Eerika sometimes give him. These pictures from yesterday demonstrate his tolerance for Eerika's affection.

"Oh there is a finger in my eye, but I am ok."

"I she still there?"

"I am wishing that she would give me some space"

"Not another one!!"

"She just doesn't listen."