Having a newborn is such a roller coaster. One day seems just fine and I think "I can handle this pretty well" and "Three kids isn't so bad" and then there are days when I am just exhausted and overwhelmed and you feel so inadequate. 

Tonight is a good night. Aleksi is asleep. Troy is putting the kids to bed. I got a solid 45 minute nap with Eeirka on one side and Aleksi on my chest. We went to the library. Library equals many books equals happiness in my mind.  

Saku had a turkey trot today. I hadn't planned on going to watch him. Since it is a good 20 minute drive and it was scheduled right in the middle of Aleksi's morning nap, I figured that it was too inconvenient. However, he seemed sad when he realized that I hadn't planned on going. So I quickly loaded up the car with the car seat attachment to the stroller and planned on walking for an hour or so around the school while Aleksi napped. Like most things in life, it didn't work out quite as well as he kept waking up and then going back to sleep, but I got to cheer for Saku and it was worth the inconvenience. 

Troy got home by 5:30 and we made dinner together, ate it together and then played few games of Uno. Saku didn't win, but he didn't get upset which is a huge deal. 

I have to remind myself that hard doesn't equal bad. It is not easy to have three kids and parent the way that I want to, to be really present with my kids. But as long as I am forgiving of my short comings as well as everyone else's, I know this can be a very happy time in our lives. It won't be easy.