To Worry or Not to Worry

So far the most challenging adjustment into motherhood is the amount of worrying that I seem to do. I usually stress out about things, but I wouldn't say that I worry excessily about stuff. However, my mom instinct makes me think of stuff all the time. At night, I wake up to the slightest peep from my sweet baby boy, I tend to reach to his bassinet and put my hand on his stomach to make sure that I can feel it moving as he breathes, I wonder if he is eating enough or maybe eating too much etc. I dont think I am worrying any more than an average first time mom; however, I definetily feel the responsibility of being a mom and taking care of this precious child.

Past few days I have worried about a possible infection on his circumcision site. There is a little bit of pus and one of the signs of infection is pus. So I called the pediatrician and talked to the nurse and she made an appointment with one of the pediatricians. I was hoping that it wasn't pus because that would mean that he didn't have an infection; however, I felt slightly silly going in there for nothing. We waited an hour to see the doctor, which in my opinion is ridiculous when you have a one week old child with you. The doctor came in and looked at his penis for 3 seconds and said that everything was fine. However, I didn't feel like she even saw the pus, so I didn't really feel very comforted by the visit. Luckily that night we saw one of the doctors from our ward and had him take a look at him and he confirmed that it was indeed pus. So my nursing assessment skills weren't totally off. Luckily, there hasn't been fewer or any other signs of infection and we have our 2 week appointment on Monday so he should be just fine since we are putting some anti-infective ointment on him. It does seem that wet diapers are painful to him and it breaks my heart to see him cry so much as we do diaper changes. Fortunately, he calms down pretty easily as long as you snuggle him closely. He gets mad so quickly, but calms down quickly as well.

I keep emailing these pictures to Troy during his work day so I could convince him to come home to us little quicker:) So far, I have adjusted to being home all day pretty well. Of course, all I seem to do is feed him, rock him, change diapers and get few minutes to myself here and there. However, I am very content with my new role as a mom.