Ex-Boyfriends and the Hubby

I have always loved boys. I do not remember a time when I thought that boys were yucky. Now that I am happily married, I sometimes think back to the days of high school crushes, breakups and the drama that comes with love or what you think of as love and I am glad that those dating days are over. There are few lessons I have realized about boys and I hope to pass them along to my own daughters one day.

Boy #1. I had my first kiss when I was 15. I had gone back to Finland by myself for Christmas and New Years. I met the boy a Youth New Year's Dance and hung out for few days. He was few years older and little bit of a wild boy, but he was cute. He cried when we said goodbye. My mom wasn't happy about this boy and told me that I shouldn't hang out with him ever again. And I never did see him again.

Lesson learned: moms usually know which boys are good for their daughters and which aren't.

Boy #2. During my Freshman and Sophomore year of high school in California, I was completely infatuated with one of the football players who was in my english and history class. Yes, I was a typical high school girl and liked the good looking football player. I think he was aware of this for a quite long time. In the end of my sophomore year, I asked him to go to a dance with me. He said yes and I was in heaven. I wore a skirt that was little too short. We had a good time at the dance, hung out few times and went on one official date. We never were an official couple and things just kind of died down.

Lesson learned: A girl shouldn't feel like she is so lucky to be with a boy and if you feel like you need to wear a short skirt to be attractive to the boy, you are selling your self short.

Boy#3-I met my first official boyfriend in a math class. He offered to help me to study for a test. At this point, I was completely oblivious to his interest in me and I was just glad to be getting some help. We studied a little bit and talked most of the time. He went out of his way to do cute things such as give my sister Cherry tomatoes because they were her favorite. He wrote a poem for me and made a mix tape. I was his first kiss. We dated for a month, he gave me a golden rose for our one month anniversary and I got him a teddy bear. Few days later, he broke up with me and wouldn't talk to me for months. I was so upset, I lost weight and obsessed over what happened. Eventually, he apologized and I moved on.

Lesson learned: Sometimes you just need to let it go. I wasted so many hours obsessing over what happened. Sometimes feelings are unpredictable and can't be explained.

Boy#4-End of Junior year, i met the bf#2 at a dance. We had our first date at Starbucks, which was ironic since I don't drink coffee. He went off to college and I moved to Finland after we had been dating for few months. We did the long distance relationship for 6 months and then I broke up with him. I ended up moving back to California and we saw each other again during his spring break and got back together. We ended up having a long distance relationship during my freshman year at BYU and we were "serious". We talked about possibly getting married, but he was catholic and I obviously wanted to get married in the temple. We struggled, but I always felt that we had been together so long(2.5 years) that I had too much invested in the relationship.

Lesson learned: There are things in life that cannot be compromised and life is so much easier when you share same beliefs and values.

The Boy- I met this boy and we clicked right away. I was with my current boyfriend at a time and broke up with him because I realized that I really wanted a man who shared my values. As cheesy as it sounds, it felt like I had always known him. There was never awkwardness. We were great friends and I couldn't get enough of him. I told him that I was too young (19 years old) to get married and since he was old (24), he better be ok with this. Yet, we started talking about getting married in a month or so and got engaged after 4 months dating. We got married in a year and life has been busy, full of adventure and love ever since.

Lesson learned:when you find a boy who is your friend, who you love to kiss, who makes you happy and supports you, you better make sure he stays around. And most importantly, make sure to find a boy who can take you to the temple so you can be together as a family forever, because one day you will have adorable children and you could never forgive yourself if you wouldn't be able to be with them forever.

I know there are some fabulous people who read my blog, so I am challenging every one of YOU to share your story about your husband/wife, the crazy ex boyfriend /girlfriend, the hopeless crush you had or whatever you have learned about love.