I am sure that I felt like this after Saku was born so I am hoping that this wont last. I am talking about the roller coaster of emotions. I honestly feel bad for Troy for the fact that I am so up and down with my emotions. I don't quite feel like myself.
Within 24 hours (from 4 am to 4 am)
I felt
Scared as Eerika started to choke while she was still asleep next to me. Now we have a prescription for some medicine that hopefully will help
Terrified as I thought of how I could ever cope if something would happen to her ( it is never good to think about these kind of things in the middle of the night)
Frustrated as she woke up and was wide awake at 4 am
Grateful that Troy decided to get up and put her to sleep
Loved as Saku happened to come to bed with me and he wanted to hold my hand as we fell asleep
Accomplished after I made phone calls about Eerika's reflux and my hospital bill-I hate making "official" phone calls
In awe of how beautiful my daughter is as she would look into my eyes when she nursed
Bored since we haven't gotten out of the house very much this week
Content after I self-invited myself over to a friend's house and chatted with other moms for an hour while Saku played happily
Mentally exhausted when Troy came home around 5:30 pm
Like a mental wreck by 6 pm for no apparent reason
Well taken care of as Troy takes both kids with him to get us some dinner
Guilty as I felt relieved that I had a moment for myself
Relaxed as I read Hunger Games on the couch for an hour while the house was quiet
Re-charged when Troy and kids come home and I tell Troy that I'm ready to be a mom again
Happy as I read books to Saku and sang songs to him at bedtime
Helpless as Eerika cried because she barely cries, but when she does, nothing seems to help. I am hoping that the medication will solve this.
Worried about the possibility that maybe my emotions weren't normal and I should get checked for postpartum depression (again, not a good idea to evaluate your emotional stability in the middle of the night)
Beyond excited as I woke up 4 am and realized that Eerika had been sleeping since 10sh without waking up
How are you feeling today??
3 comments:
I am taken over by my psychopath-alter-ego during the night if the baby has trouble sleeping. I start trying to plan special ed for my older son (he is not developmentally delayed), imagine an eternity of sleepless nights for my baby (all babies learn to sleep eventually), and once I sobbed on the floor at my husband's feet wondering if he was going to have an affair someday. In the morning, I am back to my normal self. Motherhood is awesome.
Hahaha. I'm not laughing at you just laughing in remembrance of the exact same things you are saying. I was crazy for the first few months after Violet. I don't think you have post partum, I just think your hormones are returning to normal. Seriously, you would know if you had post partum. xoxo
Yup - that sounds about right! It takes awhile to adjust and I think everyone gets anxiety, especially if something scary happens, like the choking. I think depression is more wanting to hurt yourself/ your baby. The other things are normal for sleep deprivation.
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