here and now

I have been more so recording life events rather than journaling how I feel about life. Both of them are important but I just love reading back to the times when I truly wrote down how life was for me rather than just talking about what we have done. 

Tonight I feel very content. The kitchen got cleaned and the floors mopped. The rooms upstairs are mostly clean. I was able to finish putting mulch down yesterday so the backyard is one step closer to being finished. While I have never been perfectionist, it can really make me feel frustrated when things are unfinished. 

This week has been good. Monday started with Troy staying home and working on the garage shelves with his parents. I was able to go to gym and not worry about getting the kids into Villakids and whether Miio would be happy there. Aleksi was in heaven and in a good mood all day as he got the attention from Grandma and Grandpa. Miio took three amazing naps and was happy except when the saw was being used. He spent a lot of time with Grandma which made her and Troy and I very happy. It is important to us that Troy's parents and dad and Paula really get to know our kids and have a relationship with them.

For some reason, I had felt very angry and resentful towards Troy the previous week. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation, we had some awful nights with Miio, maybe it was the lack of personal time and space together as Troy's parents were here, maybe it was the stress of life and the constant noise. I'm not usually an angry person but I just felt angry and unhappy. However, we talked about it. It didn't resolve over night but this week I have felt happy and loving and not angry at all. It has been a big blessing for all of us. 

Miio is such a sunshine in my life. Yes, he can be demanding at time like tonight when he sort of fussed the whole time we were at Missie's for dinner. But when I sing to him or talk to him, he gives me the biggest smiles. He loves baths. He nurses and then looks at me with me biggest smile.  It is amazing how quickly he calms down in my arms and while I don't have any desire to do that multiple times a night, it is such a sweet thing to be that comfort to him. Miio sometimes "sings" when I sing to him. 

Aleksi is loud and demanding and funny and learning all the time. He is all boy.  He loves to show his butt, and say the word butt. He loves to be outside and ride his skuut bike. He is wanting to be a big kid so bad. He loved Grandpa and handled Grandpa's teasing well. He is in the tough spot of not really napping but also not really doing well without napping. He loves to stall and be distracted when you want him to do something that he isn't a fan of. It can frustrating.  He keeps talking about all the things that he wants for his birthday: monster truck, nerf gun, roller blades, pocket knife, green bunk bed, fidget spinner. 

Eerika is sweet and she is fire. She has been emotional this week. She hasn't really complained but by the end of the night, she can get very tearful about things that shouldn't warrant tears. She is liking Spanish Immersion. She wanted to read scriptures tonight on her own and did great.  She truly wants to help and sometimes she pushes her help so much that she and the person who does not want her help end up unhappy. 

Saku has been doing really well in many aspects. He learned a lot of responsibility from swim team this summer. He had two meets where he raced the 25m free style and backstroke. He has mastered rollerblading and has enjoyed bike ramping with Isaac. He loved rafting and even went tubing in the river. His anger burst as fewer and he has described his school days as "awesome" with the immersion.