Silver Linings of Life

Yesterday was pretty much as perfect as it could get on a every day life.

Aleksi took three fabulous naps.

I snuggled Eerika as she fell asleep and slept almost two hours.

Laci "picked up" Saku from the class room and let her kids play with Saku at the playground so I could get to school about 10 minutes later so I didn't have to wake up the younger kids from their naps and rush to school.

I tried a new recipe and it was delicious. And it had turnips in it!

During Aleksi and Eerika's afternoon nap, I ran two miles on the treadmill at a nine minute mile pace and it felt great.

We had a great FHE. It was completely spontaneous on the topic of prayer but it turned out great.

Saku worked on his homework hard and then played happily with Eerika.

He had gotten on "yellow" at school, but he didn't mope about it at home. Huge!

Aleksi had his best night time sleep yet. We actually woke up to our alarm at 6 am rather than him. He was up twice during the night but it wasn't bad considering that he fell asleep at 6:30 pm.

I was so happy and content all day. I kept thanking Heavenly Father in my mind for this day when everything lined up.

Today's highlights

Kids loved ravioli soup as always. It is nice when they enjoy a meal that isn't mac-n-cheese or chicken nuggets.

Heather came over. Almost eight years into our friendship, she always brightens up my day.

Bedtime went smoothly even with Aleksi in my arms. Saku read his 15 minutes without a complaint and did a great job reading. Eerika didn't bug Saku, rather she quietly "read" her own books.

Also Aleksi's naps weren't as great and I ended up holding him for the second nap, but since Eerika napped at the same time, I could enjoy him and not feel hurried or guilty for neglecting Eerika.

Many blessings everywhere. Many of them involve sleep. It is not that I make a big deal of sleep because I don't want to spend time with my kids. I just feel that there is such great importance on sleep for all of us. 

Finland Pictures

Our trip to Finland was many things. It was exhausting. So exhausting for the first week that I cried several times in the middle of the night. I wondered if it would be EVER worth trying to do it again. When you deal with jet lag with five different people, it is very hard. And especially when one of them is less than two months old. After a week, we finally went back to "normal newborn schedule" so instead of sleeping three hours total a night, we went to sleep three hours in row and wake up and repeat it few times.

It was magical. It snowed on many days. The kids got to go sledding. They built a snowman. They just played in the snowing. Aleksi napped in the stroller when it was below freezing and he loved it. We went on walks and pulled the kids on sleds. 

Troy and I enjoyed a date (with Aleksi). 

This is how you look after a night of much crying due to rye bread wrecking your digestive system. I slept 5-8 am that night...it was a pretty low point emotionally. 

Chilling at the bus stop. 

Checking out the Christmas lights in downtown Helsinki.

Elsa and Saku.

Watching as the first snow (for us) started to come down.

The real sibling portrait.

Eerika smiled after I am sure I made some sort of a threat. Aleksi didn't care about my threats and decided to be cranky.

Happy two months Aleksi.

Stroller by the frozen lake. I felt pretty Finnish and hardcore to be chilling in the freezing temperatures with my baby. He had many many layers on!

Love this man!

My hair got frozen a bit while Troy and I enjoyed a walk.

These four had an amazing time all the time together!

Same shape heads??

We always go to Classic Pizza when we visit Finland. Their pizza is amazing!

The day before we left, the snow was finally good for snowmen. I was inside with Aleksi but Ukki and isi were awesome and helped the kids to  build a snowman for each kid.

The kids were amazing. NO whining about being cold.

Saku especially wanted to outside all the time.

Ukki is so fun!

She looks so big in this picture!

It is tricky to take a picture of a baby who is always moving. I just love his features. So perfect.

Sliding on ice!

Playing at the awesome Angry Birds Playground 

Ukki took bunch of the adults climbing. Troy had a great time.

I love these boys!

After two weeks of eating, I finally went for a walk:)

Eerika finally got to say "Do you want to build a snowman?"

Monday's brain dump:)

Eerika strips down to her underwear every night. She gets too hot to wear her PJs at night when the temperature in the house is 70 degrees.

We found that stickers are a good incentive for her to work on things. So when she goes to bed without a fuss, she gets a sticker. She also gets a sticker when she practices her scoot bike.

Aleksi likes to eat his hand. I think it is mostly the right hand. He loves diaper changes because he has all of your attention. 

Saku loves talking to Aleksi. Today he told me that he "loves having a baby brother". 

I ran two miles at 9 minute mile pace on the treadmill and it felt awesome.

Life is Hard Work

Last night I had a conversation with Starla about the reality of motherhood and life in general. How some want to paint it as this picture perfect thing. I might be at times guilty of it as well as there are moments in motherhood and life that feel picture perfect. The moment when you hold your baby for the first time. The moment when you watch your kids asleep. The moment when you watch them be kind to each other. 

But right now I feel frazzled. I feel sleep deprived. I feel more gushy and rolly in my middle that I would like. I feel less patient and more nagging. I try to navigate the balancing of my time, affection and energy between four very special people in my house. I feel like I have downgraded from the fun mom to a surviving mom since Aleksi was born. And a bit like a downgrade from a easy going wife to a "I look like I am about to have a mental breakdown" at times.

It is not a bad thing. Or so I try to convince myself. I love this little happy face that has charmed us all. I love his delightful squeals and the pure innocence that he brings.  He also brings a lot work. And sometimes I think we are afraid to admit it. If I say that being a mom is hard and exhausting, does it mean that I don't enjoy it and I am not grateful for it? 

I love snuggling my baby and there are many times that my heart is so full of gratitude as I hold him close in the dark. But I also feel gratitude when he feels sleeps for four to five hours and my brain doesn't feel so cloudy. 

I love the funny conversations and the amazing way that Eerika and Saku use their brains. They also have figured out how to talk back to me and I need to deal with some intentional or unintentional rudeness.  I love how they will go and play together and disappear into their pretend world where there is no need for me. And I want to scream when I hear them picker about "she is copying me" and  Eerika responding  "when I grow up, I will always follow Saku" just because she knows that it bugs me. 

I am proud of Troy and his work accomplishments but with those accomplishments come more responsibility and more stress and more time away from home. That is hard. I am grateful to be serving in the Primary as a secretary but there are times when it overwhelms me. 

I posted a picture of Aleksi and the back of Eerika's head from our run yesterday. I pushed them for 1.4 miles. In my running experience, it is nothing compared to what I have done, but I worked for every second of it. I huffed and puffed and my legs burned. Few generous friends left kind words praising me. I felt a bit phony since it was only 1.4 miles. Yet I went out there and I worked for it.

I guess I just want to say that hard work doesn't exclude happiness or feeling accomplishment.

If I relate it to my running, my two marathon training cycles have been hard and running each marathon was so exhausting, but I would never say "oh I am not a good runner because running is hard".

So I am not going to say "oh I am not a good mother because being a mother is hard" or "I am not a good wife because I need to work on being more kind, patient etc".

And now I'm off to being a better at keeping my house clean...or I might just tickle my baby. Somehow I still want to tickle and snuggle him after a rough night of stuffy nose and waking up about every hour.

See my life is picture perfect:) 

Bras and Breasts

Eerika stuffed a Barbie blanket underneath her sweat shirt.

"This is my bra" she informed Saku and I.

Saku responded "Eerika, you don't need a bra". 

I didn't think I would hear this conversation for another 8-10 years...

Saku also finds it inappropriate that Eerika's barbies don't have bras or something to cover their breast when they are undressed.

Saku's explanation for the lady in the nursing lounge

On Sunday I went to nurse Aleksi during sacrament meeting so he would be full and happy during Primary when I have to run around to get everything done. This Sunday was especially crazy since it was the first Sunday of the year and we had new class assignments and teachers. It was a stressfull morning, but everything worked out nicely. Back to the nursing story...So I go to the mother's lounge and there is this woman just playing with her smart phone; no baby, no toddler. Nothing except her smart phone. It was a bit weird to nurse ALeksi there with this lady just chilling next to me and playing on pinterest.

So I tell this story to Troy and Saku overhears it and says without any hesitation 

"She must have drank alcohol".

So random. But I think he put "her weird behavior" and our explanation that when people drink alcohol they can do weird and crazy things because their brain is affected.

Troy and I thought it was hilarious.

reality of my blogging

Most of the time when I am sitting in the dark closet and putting Aleksi to sleep, I have these profound thoughts about myself and the life around me. In my head I "talk" and the words sound so beautiful and meaningful and I wish I could get them down.

And then when I finally sit in front of the computer, I am dead tired and I merely write few facts that probably have grammatical errors and I feel lame. Even now as I wrote these few sentences, Aleksi is kicking his little feet next to me and happily observing the play room, but I already pick him up because I can't resist it when he "talks" to us and I think I just have to face it that right now, my writing will be short and sweet. Maybe I should just put pictures down and have captions. Though this computer can be so slow with pictures that I can frustrated and want to move on. 

so a fact or two for each one of our family

Saku loved everything about snow in Finland. Sledding, building a snow man, naked snow angels. He ate caviar and liked it. He loved playing Battleship by himself.

Eerika LOVED mummi. She loved going into her study and talking to her, dancing there and watching Muumipeikko. She informed us "I dream about kissing". She is great at running through the airport. She and isi have really bonded and she absolutely loves isi nowadays. Flashback of Saku going through this phase. She insisted on having one braid and one pony tail on Christmas Eve. 

Aleksi is amazing little traveler. We went through very rough five days, when he showed us a bit how a colicky child would be as his stomach couldn't handle rye bread. That and sleep deprivation from jet lag, made Troy and I both a bit delirious. It was so rough that the words "I never want to have another baby" were muttered.  However, he is back to his usual happy baby and I can't get enough of him. He is growing so fast. It does not make me sad nor do I wish to speed it up. I am just enjoying this little mystery of a man that spits up a ton, started to drool and loves to give you the happiest smiles when you are face to face with him. He wears size two diapers and fills 3 month clothes so we are moving on to 3-6 month clothes. 

And that is all i can do now...such is life:)