1000 Miles

I will run 1000 miles in 2012. I am excited, nervous and determined to reach this goal. Why such a big goal? Because I know I can do it and I know it will be a challenge. I want to make my body work hard and enjoy my body before it is time for another pregnancy and baby (no plans at this time, thank you). I want to have something that is my own. It is not related to be role as a mother. It is not related to my role as a homemaker. It is not related to my role as a wife. It is not service for anyone else. It is purely and selfishly my thing. I am the only one who benefits from it and I am the only who pays the price if I am slacking (since I will have to do more mileage the following day/week). Though I dont think Troy minds the results of the training either...

This week I enjoyed having dad as my running companion. We ran six days. Some days were easier than others. Wednesday was just a run to the park followed by playing and then running home. Saturday's a trail run of 7 miles. Our weekly total ended up being approximately 26 miles. My body is feelings this. I pushed the double jogger on four days, a single stroller on one day and no stroller on Saturday. There are so many more hills here that my body is still adjusting to it and we are at a slightly higher elevation as well.

What is amazing is that dad ran with me each time. Because of the winter in FInland, he hasn't been running for months and he was just able to keep up with me. Pretty impressive. I'm not saying that I am that fast but it is not easy to run 25 miles a week after no running.






We have enjoyed the desert scenery. I can't believe I am saying that but I find it peaceful and (again) find myself so happy with our decision to move here. Dad did get attacked by a jumping cholla and I stepped on something that poked a thorn through my shoe.





Today was a much needed rest day. I napped. I ate some chocolate. It was blissful and my body said "thank you". Especially for the chocolates.

Favorite Spot

The kids love our new house. The stairs, the open areas, the multiple doors that they can open and close. They have found their favorite spot very quickly. It is a chair in our guest bedroom that is right by the window. Without a fail, the kids always run over there and throw down the cushions, climb over there and laugh and then cry (as playing gets rough) and then laugh more. And they love it when I find them there. Maybe the whole throwing down the cushions gives them the feeling of "we are up to no good" and when I find them there, they get a kick out of it.

Loving Ukki

There is something truly special about the way our kids and my dad interact. Our kids are social kids but they are definitely attached to us. Often when other people reach out for them or want to hold them, the kids refuse. While I feel like it is normal, I wish more people could see how awesome and fun and loving my kids are. However, the moment my dad came to visit Saku has played with him, given him hugs and spent memorable and special moments with him. Even Eerika lets ukki hold him which is pretty much a miracle. Troy made a comment that felt very inspired as he said "I think it is Heavenly Father's way of showing how much your mom would have loved our kids". It is true. My mom would have loved and spoiled our kids so much. I am grateful that my dad is able to come and spend time with us and have a relationship with our kids.

And Ukki is pretty much hilarious. As Saku and ukki were swinging, Saku was laughing and kept saying "crazy ukki" as ukki was making the swing go from side to side and back and forth.

And it is obviously a whole lot easier for me as ukki reads to Saku or gets Eerika out of the crib and I get a little break. And spending time and helping out with the kids is only a small part of all he has done while he has been here. But all of that deserves another post.

Bravery

In order to be a parent, you need to brave. There are many things that make you scared or nervous when it comes to parenting.

It starts with the labor and delivery of the baby. I love the process of giving birth. But it makes me nervous. How much is it going to hurt? How long will it take? How does a baby come out of something so small?!! But you do it and it changes your life.

Then you have the baby and you are scared out of your mind that something bad will happen to your precious baby. You are worried about leaving the house because you don't want your baby to freak out while you are out and about and maybe you can't console the baby. You are worried that you will never feel normal after months of sleep deprivation. You will worry that your body will always look a bunch of jello was attached to your abdomen. But somehow you survive those newborn months.

Then you child becomes a toddler. You worry that you will be too harsh on your child. Or maybe you aren't firm enough. You worry when to take away the bottle/pacifier/blanket. You worry that people will think that you aren't a capable parent after your kid screams in a public place. You wonder when to potty train and what method to use. I am still in this stage but I know that eventually we will find a solution to these earth shattering issues or we won't and our kids will grow up and be OK.

One day, I will worry about grades, their friends, driving,boyfriends/girlfriends, broken hearts, drinking and drugs, college, and the list goes on, and I will probably wish that my biggest concern was little sleep deprivation.

However, the amazing thing about children is that they surprise you with their ability to do things.

Today we had a "are we brave enough" moment as we got dressed for church and debated whether we should have Saku go to church with a diaper or without one. We didn't want to confuse him and put on a diaper since he hasn't worn one for days, but did I want to have a "Cameron stepped on my poop" moment in our new ward. No, I didn't. However, we put on our brave parent faces and Saku went to church without a diaper. And he did amazingly well. No accidents at all. ALL DAY.

So next time, I wonder if Saku or Eerika can do something challenging, I will be brave so I can help them to be brave.

So I won't Forget

After my dad arrived on Thursday, he made a comment on how much Saku talks. Yes, he does talk a ton. I wanted to write down few of the funny phrases that we have heard lately.

We were at a story time and reading a book about animals moving. The story time lady started reading a page about animals crawling and she asked "who crawls?". Saku answered "Eerika crawls". The story time lady looked little puzzled until I clarified that Saku has just informed her that his little sister crawls. (This happened 3 months ago)

Saku is a sleep talker. He must have inherited that skill from me. This morning, he sort of yells out "I want more books". Another night "I want to take a shower".

He likes to negotiate. He usually shows me two fingers and tells me "five more minutes". He also has picked up the phrase "in a second" so he has started to tell me that he is going to do something "in a second".

If we go away (as in he was left with someone), he tells us "you were too far away. I couldn't reach you." or "I lost you".

Cameron came to play with us and the boys were in the backyard. Saku has been potty training because he doesn't really want a diaper anymore. So we let him be without one and if we are outside, he just wears just pants. So the boys are playing and suddenly we hear "äiti, Cameron stepped on my poop". Alia and I looked at each other and ask "did he say poop" and sure enough, he had pooped, it fell out of his pant leg and landed on the patio and Cameron stepped on it. AWESOME! (We had struggled about pooping in the potty, but since the "stepping on the poop" incident, we have had successful poops in the potty).

After I had showered one day, I was about to get dressed and Saku was next to me and he looks at me with great concentration and then says "äiti, your tissi (boob) looks good". He was so serious. Troy and I about died laughing.

Best of Friends

So Isi is the king of the house in Saku's opinion. During Troy's Christmas vacation, Saku wanted isi and only isi. I wasn't good enough for him when he was sad or it was time to go to bed. Why would I be, I only gave birth to him? OK, I really am not bitter at all about it. There was a time when he only wanted me and I told Troy that there would be a time when he would be Saku's hero. Well the time has come. Saku loves loves loves his isi. However, he is considerate enough that he doesn't let isi be his only best friend.

This is a debate that Saku and I had yesterday

Saku: "you are my best friend"
Me: "You are my best friend"
Saku: "No, you are my best friend"
And we did that five more times.

Saku spontaneously runs to Eerika and exclaims "Eerika, you are my best friend" and gives her a hug.

Tonight after Ukki arrived, they were both very silly and hyper from the excitement and ran (Saku) and walked fast (Eerika) around the house while singing and squealing. It was little loud, but it sure made me happy to have them play together.

This is why having kids so close in age is so rewarding and worth it, even when I go to bed at 10 pm every night because I am way too tired to stay up any later.

Simplify

Simplify is my theme for this year.

I want to concentrate on the important things.

I don't want just to do good things; I want to make time for the best things.

As part of the moving process, I decided to clean out my closet and got rid of half of the clothes I owned. I only kept things I really liked. From now on, I will buy fewer clothes that are better quality and can be worn in many ways. I will try to be more classy.

Yesterday I decided to delete blogs from my google reader. Since I "found" the world of blogs, I followed blogs of friends and strangers that entertained me and kept me informed on people's lives. I want to focus more on my own life and family. I deleted about 20 blogs. It feels good.

I am trying to stay home more. Last year, we were busy with multiple play dates a week. Some weeks, we were "on the go" every day. It was good and I feel very blessed to have many great friends. However, I want to concentrate more on the simplicity of spending time with my kids and showing Eerika and Saku that they can be each other's friends.

As I decorate and organize our new home, I am trying to keep things uncluttered. It is a complete mess right now and it will be a work in process for a while. I won't have the money to buy everything that I want right now, but I am happy with the simple fact that I am living in a house that I love and in a neighborhood that makes me smile each time I go outside.

I will read more books and watch less TV. This will not be that hard since I cant seem to find anything that really captures my attention. I notice that reading a good book leaves me always refreshed while the idea of watching TV sounds good, but never makes me feel great.

I will only focus on only few things this year. I want to run, feel close to the Spirit and provide a happy atmosphere for my family.

I will make time for people and relationships rather than things.

I even thought of deleting my facebook account but I don't think I can do it. Baby steps, right?