It has been kind of a long day. Not because it was a bad, long day, but a long day with two sick kids and Troy gone to Scout Camp. We are grandma's house so we don't have to worry about keeping the house clean for showings. This is a blessing but someone else's house is always different than your own house.
It is summer break. I have looked forward to this. Of course it probably won't be as good as I have made it in my head, but it is nice to not have a schedule, at least someone else's schedule, to follow. The two coughing kids obviously put a damper on this so it felt like a long day as I tried to think of things that would keep everyone content.
Aleksi took a long time to settle down for his morning nap. He would fall asleep and then wake up as he started coughing. We did this at least four times. An exhausted sick baby meant that I carried around. And when you carry a baby around, you can't quite focus on your other children as much as I would have liked.
Cereal with strawberries and watermelon was our dinner. Tinkerbell movie helped us all relax. Aleksi fell asleep in my arms as I snuggled him, which doesn't happen anymore. Saku fell asleep while I was reading stories and Eerika got drowsy while I sang to her.
Some nights I am in a hurry to escape the role of a mom for few hours. When the request for another song or story comes, I feel irritated because I have used all of my mental powers and patience in the last 12 hours of mothering. Tonight I decided not to hurry. I sang many songs to her. I tucked her in. I am sure Aleksi will wake up in the next hour. He can't breath well. He fell asleep before he nursed so he will be hungry. I most likely will not sleep well as Troy is gone, Aleksi will be up a lot and Saku will be up and let's be honest, Eerika might be up as well.
My sweet Aleksi is barely unhappy, and it is sad to see him be miserable. While he snuggled against my chest, I felt so vulnerable for the love I have for him. I have felt that love similarly for the older two when they have been sick and in a fragile state.
I am so grateful that the fact that Troy's absence and the presence of illness in our home doesn't push me to the edge like it would have few months ago. It is amazing what a difference a month or two can make. I can handle my life again. I can feel confident in my ability to be äiti. I have energy to show love and support to Troy.
And Aleksi just woke up...
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