Written on Thursday 2/19/2015
I try but I just get frustrated. And when I get frustrated, the power in me says "be mean, be mean". Eerika tells me this as she sobs tired tears in her bed. I had calmly explained to her that she shouldn't bug Saku and when she gets mad, she shouldn't yell and throw things (legos in this case).
I try but I just get frustrated. And when I get frustrated, the power in me says "be mean, be mean". Eerika tells me this as she sobs tired tears in her bed. I had calmly explained to her that she shouldn't bug Saku and when she gets mad, she shouldn't yell and throw things (legos in this case).
In her four year old articulate way, she is so right. When you get frustrated it is so easy to get mean. I am not talking calling names-spanking-mean, but sharp voices and impatient words. Fortunately tonight my inner calmness won and I don't have to go to bed with a guilty feeling of being mean and short-tempered.
Last night I had a girls' night with Steph, Cristy and Natalie and I came home so rejuvenated. I felt understood as we talked about the stressor of motherhood. I got to be brutally honest, yet not worry about being judged or pitied. It was an amazing gift. Troy could tell the difference right away when I got home.
Today was full of wonderful things. A morning nap of 1 hr and 20 minutes for Aleksi. Eerika and I reading a pile of books. Eerika and I unloading the dishwasher together. Eerika and I playing little girl. Eerika arranging Rummikub tiles during her quit time. Play date with the Copelands. Tacos for dinner and the kids ate them happily. Aleksi being social and happy all day.
And then bedtime came about and everyone was a bit tired. Aleksi would just cry and cry and cry. So unusual. i can pretty much all the time console him. Nothing I did work. So he cried in my arms. He cried in his crib for a bit while I took care of the older kids. And we walked and he cried. I patted and he cried. Finally he calmed down in a bouncer with vibration on. And that's where he is sleeping now. He has never once slept there, but I had to get creative.
Troy had to work late. That is hard for him. He knows that it is hard for me so I am sure he feels bad. I am sure he feels stressed.
This amazing life is mine. It is hard. It is full of little moments of happiness. And little moments of fighting the "mean" within you.
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| Brothers' story time |
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| This is the look ALeksi gets when he is staring at the camera |
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